Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”


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Psychology, development, youth.  ---  .In this "youth" section are notes on (1) Kids or childhood.  (2) Teens or adolescence.  (3) Young adults.  (4) Youth in general (all three).  ---  5/16/2001


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  .This section is about youth.  Topics include: ( ) Kids.  ( ) Teens.  ( ) Young adults.  ( ) Youth (all three above).  ---  1/24/2006


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Freedom, rebellion.  (2) Time, and energy to think (use it fully and wisely).  (3) Curiosity, questioning.  (4) Learn fast, think quick, insightful.  (5) Creative due to drives.  (6) Haven't made important mistakes yet.  (7) False hopes, deluded about what is.  (8) Idealistic, happy in hopes.  (9) Depressed about what is, excited about unknown.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Healthy, horny, energetic, great feeling.  (2) Use it, enjoy it, get most out of it.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Lively, alive.  (2) Everything is new, adventure, interesting.  (3) Unselfconfident.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Many young people are quite capable when given the chance.  (2) Some "adults" behave like children.  Some adults are incompetent.  Some adults are unethical.  (3) So age is no guarantee of anything.  ---  7/31/2006


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Physical adolescence.  When your body goes through puberty.  (2) Psychological adolescence.  The age at which you go through the various crises of becoming an adult.  (3) (A) Stalled or hung up.  When you fail to resolve or complete a crisis or transition phase.  (B) Immature or retarded.  When you fail to enter a crisis.  When a thought or emotion or problem never occurs to you.  (4) The crises are:  (A) Need for, and how to find a lover.  (B) Need for, and how to find a job or occupation.  (C) How to deal with others ethically without abusing or being abused.  Ethical development.  (D) Emotional development.  How to live with yourself.  Mind and body.  ---  8/8/1998


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) Physical feeling: boundless energy, hormones.  (2) Psychological state: happiness, ignorance is bliss, no work, no expenses, no worries, full of hope (no missed or destroyed dreams yet).  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  (1) When you are a young man, you want to do something to keep your strong, young, physical body fit and build it up.  (2) You also want to do something that is dangerous, risky, to develop and prove your guts and bravery and independence.  (3) You also want to do something worthwhile, and something that pays off quick, because you realize you could die at any moment.  ---  11/20/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Braggadocio, confidence, good humor.  Bop like a teen, energy and attitude up.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Don't have emotional strength and confidence to take a stand.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Every time they smoked a butt, or took a drink, they said to themselves "I am an adult", albeit a confused, aimless, ignorant, sightless adult.  ---  10/20/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Fire and energy, stupid, fun.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Gum is a very important topic when one is a kid.  Deciding which gum is best.  Figuring out how to get more gum.  ---  4/1/2005


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  How I felt when I was young.  Both when I felt good and when I felt bad.  (1) Plenty of time.  (2) Enjoy life, have fun.  (3) I am healthy and strong.  (4) My prime is ahead of me, and things are getting better.  (5) I can do anything, unlimited potential, anything can happen.  (6) No worries.  (7) No bounds, plenty of free time and freedom.  No woman or job tying me down.  (8) Burning hard-on lust, and strong romantic love.  (10)  Rocking out to tunes.  ---  08/17/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Idealistic.  Make mistakes: over estimate or under estimate self and world.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Inexperienced, unorganized, free, wild, unsocialized.  Energy, open mind, idealistic.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Innocent, naive, hopeful, deluded, expectations, happy, stupid, nubile, energetic.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Inspired by hormones, driven by hormones.  Sharper, quicker, more intuitive, only less in experience.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  (1) Kids are all emotion and no reason.  (2) Kids are all drive and no reason.  (3) Kids have few memories due to not having lived long.  As a result, each memory that they do have holds greater importance.  The first memories are the strongest.  Its kind of like first impressions between adults.  ---  4/5/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  (1) Kids feel emotions but they do not understand their emotions in a rational way.  Example, they do not understand what is causing the emotion.  They do not understand the best ways to handle the emotion.  (2) Somehow kids are pure in an uncivilized way.  ---  10/10/1998


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  (1) Psychological: emotions and thinking.  (2) Physical: small in a big world; physically uncoordinated.  (3) Social: social role of kids.  Free and wild vs. obey and respect.  ---  5/16/2001


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Childhood is a form of bondage, slavery or imprisonment.  Even worse, grade school was a form of imprisonment within the imprisonment of childhood.  Grade school was a form of double imprisonment, kind of like the isolation cell.  Grade school was adding insult to injury.  ---  6/12/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Children can't think or speak or act to defend self.  They are prone to psychological injury, so they cry.  They are prone to pathological psychology.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Dinosaurs remind kids of their parents.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Dolls.  (1) A doll as a model of a human.  Very often in America, girls are given dolls to play with and boys are not given dolls to play with.  Boys are given model trains and model planes but boys are not given model humans (dolls).  To what extent does playing with dolls (model humans) help develop social skills?  If playing with dolls helps develop social skills, then in America we would expect women to have better social skills than men.     (2) There are basically two types of dolls.  One is the baby doll which is an infant that the child cares for.  The child cares for the infant doll, gives the doll its little bottle, and puts the infant doll in its little crib, etc.  The other type of doll is the miniature adult doll, for example, GI Joe or Barbie.  How does playing with these two different types of doll (baby and adult) affect the child?     (A) When the child plays with an infant doll the child is taking the role of the parent.  This helps develop caring skills and parenting skills.     (i) It may help them deal with children when they become adults later in life.  (ii) It also may help them develop child-child social skills that they can use while young.     (B)(i) When the child plays with the miniature adult doll the child is basically shrinking adults down to manageable size.  The child plays as a child with the adult.  It empowers the child and helps the child handle adults better in the child-adult relationship.  (ii) It lets them play (pretend) (and practice) at being an adult among adults.  This may help them deal better with adults later in life in adult-adult situations.  (iii) Also, when a child plays with a miniature adult doll they are, in a way, taking the role of god.  This helps them be god-like.  This point of view can help give a child a birds-eye view of life.  The child can look down on adults and the adult world.  The child sees that the adults are not gods.  Keeps things in perspective.  ---  7/6/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Dolls.  If you give a child a baby doll, does the child learn that as soon as able he or she will make a real baby?  Or is the reverse true, that a realistic baby doll will teach a child what a pain babies are?  ---  8/15/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  For children, play is their work and toys are their tools.  ---  6/25/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  In childhood we are (relative to adults) moronic, spastic, helpless and defenseless.  No wonder childhood leaves most of us mentally scarred.  ---  3/13/1999


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  Jobs kids like:  Cartoonist, comic, ventriloquist, mime, musician, acrobat, clown, juggler.  ---  10/05/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Kids.  When you are a kid (1) You do not always understand what is going on.  It can be both frightening and frustrating, and you get taken advantage of a lot, which causes anger.  (2) You are often relatively powerless to act when you do know what is going on.  (3) It is a bad situation to be in, and no way to be for 18 years, and even worse when you realize it.  Not a good way to start life.  ---  04/12/1994


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Strong body vs. weak, undeveloped psychology.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Strong, brave, lacking in experience.  Smart: sharp, quick, mental energy.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teen discontent is caused by not getting love, not getting laid, no freedom (from parents), and low paying jobs (minimum wage).  ---  09/26/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teen traits.  (1) Naive, unsure, hesitant, tentative.  (2) Inefficient, slow, lazy, hedonism, "plenty of time".  ---  5/31/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teen years are a time of great illumination, but little relative experience.  The illumination is due to (1) Everything being new, and (2) Great amounts of energy (physical, sexual, mental).  Surfeit of energy.  Excess needs to be blown off.  ---  05/07/1989


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teenagers tend to mythologize.  They tend to hold people in awe.  They tend toward hero-worship.  They say, "We are not worthy".  They do this because of the following factors:  (1) Their critical thinking skills have not developed fully.  (2) Their self directed drives have not developed fully to the point where they pursue their own goals.  (3) They are just coming out of childhood, and adults still appear powerful to them.  (4) The world to them appears new, big and somewhat scary.  They have not developed a knowledge base and an experience base yet.  (5) They have not fully developed bravery and persistence.  (6) They are not able yet to say "This is simple and easy.  No big deal.  I can do that."  ---  6/1/1999


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teenagers: angry all the time, depressed all the time.  Both signal a problem.  ---  10/15/1994


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens develop the ability to think abstractly.  Teens develop the ability to leave their own private Idaho and confront the world and everything in it.  ---  7/28/2006


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens: painful transition learning period.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  (1) Teen Individualism.  (A) Become your own person.  Rebel against parents, society and anything else.  (B) Make yourself appear unique in order to attract a mate.  (2) Teen cliques.  (A) Friends replace family.  Then a mate will replace their friends.  (B) Fit in and be popular.  Being "with it" unconsciously shows their biological fitness somehow.  ---  7/31/2000


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  (1) Teens, 20's, and 30's is about exploring and discovering, trying new things, enjoy, have fun, hedonism.  World is new and exciting, body is robust, strong, horny and energetic. (2) 30's, 40's and 50's is about working hard and staying healthy.  Dwindling time, energy, and health makes you re-evaluate your situation and goals.  Bored with sex.  Fun is no fun anymore.  ---  12/30/1996


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  (1) Waking up, becoming conscious (intellectually and emotionally).  (2) Becoming sexual (blessing and curse).  ---  11/08/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  Adolescence: (1) Painful waking up to problems of self and world.  (2) Play practicing for problem solution.  Adulthood: actually grappling with and solving problems.  ---  11/04/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  Adolescence.  (1) Gradually waking up and becoming aware of problems (theoretical and practical) of life and adulthood.  This is a painful process.  Realizing the fantasy has to end (not having to work, not having to deal with the problems of individual and world, ignoring problems).  Becoming aware (A) That there are problem(s), (B) And what the problem(s) are.  (2) Finding someone you can grow with (in intimacy and knowledge).  A true friend.  A true lover.  A true mental cohort.  ---  11/04/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  After the play stage (pre-teens), comes the model building stage (teens).  The model stage is for when you can't handle reality yet, but you can handle and work with a model of reality.  ---  01/07/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  Hobbies.  Total immersion in a narrow minded discipline lets them avoid thinking about the world as a whole.  A world that is painful to think about, let alone take part in.  At first it helps them learn and cope, but if it continues beyond usefulness, it becomes pain avoidance, cowardly, ignorant, neurosis.  ---  03/19/1989


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  In order to create their own identity, the teens rebel against siblings, then parents, then society in a generalized way.  They are saying unconsciously "I am not you, and to prove it I reject you".  They also have differences by dint of different viewpoints.  ---  04/24/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Teens.  To teens, hanging out is a new, fun and adventurous thing.  This gets old fast.  Kicks get harder to find.  You have to find something to live for beyond kicks.  ---  01/06/1997


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  The problem is that we feed our kids foods that make them hyperactive and then we give our kids Ritalin to counteract the hyperactivity that we induced.  The problem is that we create a depressing system for our kids to live in and then we give our kids anti-depressants to counteract the depression that we induced.  The problem is that we create a tightrope for our kids to walk without a net.  ---  5/2/2002


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  The teenage years.  There exists a desire not to enter a visibly shitty adult world.  Confusion and depression and fear over what they see ahead in the adult world.  ---  12/14/1988


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  The whole idea to foolish youth is: Everything you have been given is going to be taken away.  So use it, wisely, while you can.  ---  11/29/1988


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  The world is a tough place.  It takes some getting used to when you're young, inexperienced, weak, and confused.  There is a period of self pity in the teen age years which can last quite a long time.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  They know about what should be (idealism).  They don't know about what is.  Therefore they don't know what to do (practical).  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Things that you can only do when young.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Those rare moments in my youth of calmness, stillness, vision, imagination and creativity, excitation in life, sexual longing, sweet smellerific nostalgia, strong emotion, were they more frequent and intense than they are now?  I no longer play guitar and write poetry.  Has survival made me a practical bastard?  Is this why teens dislike adults?  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Thought methods not fully developed, optimized, sophisticated.  Takes time to sort out situations and problems.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Two extreme and wrong views that youths sometimes hold.  (1) I will live forever.  (2) I will die soon.  ---  01/24/1994


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Urge to experience, with little urge for reflection.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Various wrong views of children.  (1) Children as little adults.  (2) Children as property to sell.  (3) Children as labor.  ---  7/18/2002


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  What people find most appealing about youth is "the promise of youth".  Once people see that their great expectations are not met by youth they discard people.  As long as one is young "the promise" holds.  If you are not young there is no promise.  The lure of potentiality is incredibly strong.  ---  3/12/2001


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  What's out there?  Is there anything else to shit life?  Wanderlust, experimental, searching (philosophies, religions).  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Why youth kicks butt.  (1) Energy to burn.  (2) Lack of cares and responsibility.  (3) Primitive, not fully developed, ethical system.  (4) Two and three combine to yield a sense of freedom of thought and action that is truly excellent.  (5) Physical and emotional hardiness yields few needs, which yields greater freedom.  ---  05/30/1996


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Young males usually cannot admit to themselves that emotions can be as important as reason or drive.  The have not developed much emotional knowledge yet, and are usually emotionally repressed for any emotional knowledge they do have.  ---  08/30/1996


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth = the promise of sex and love, freedom, drugs and rock and roll.  All new and powerful.  Enjoy the good without the problems of making a living.  ---  02/07/1994


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth attitudes.  I don't have to do anything.  I can do anything.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth defined as naivete' and energy has its strong points, because if no one tells you something can't be done, and if you pursue it wholeheartedly, then you may achieve what you set out to do.  ---  7/28/2006


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth is a time of extremism and "black and white" thinking.  PART ONE.  Two extreme and wrong views that youths sometimes hold: (1) Everything is fine and dandy.  vs.  (2) The world is going down the shitter.     PART TWO.  Two extreme and wrong views that youths sometimes hold: (1) I can do anything.  vs.  (2) I can not do anything.  ---  11/12/2004


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth is about potentiality.  Potentiality is a form of freedom.  Old age is about a lack of potentiality.  Old age is thus about a decrease in existential freedom.  ---  7/11/2001


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth is something magical due to ignorance, delusions, hopes/dreams/expectations.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth is when the cliche's are new.  ---  06/01/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth: ideals, energy, free time, a potent combination.  ---  5/27/2005


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youth.  More moments of greater confusion, weakness, dependence, emotional need.  Not knowing closely who you are and what you want to be and experience, and not, and why.  Unrefined sense of justice, and not knowing when you don't have to put up with something.  Not aware of your freedom.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youthful rebellion.  (1) Forms: punks, heads, criminals.  (2) Pro: freedom of thought and action, ability to create yourself.  Contra: waste of time if done too long.  (3) Escape vs. facing life and its theoretical and practical problems.  ---  04/30/1993


Psychology, development, youth.  ---  Youthful wonder and delight.  After a while you will first realize, and then get over, the fact that you and the world exist.  ---  06/30/1993




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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.