Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”

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Sociology, communication.  ---  .See also "Technology, information theory".  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  .This section is about various other thoughts on communication.  Topics include: ( ) Elements of communication.  ( ) Gossip.  ( ) Ideal.  ( ) Problems.  ( ) Related subjects.  ( ) Techniques.  ( ) What is communication.  ( ) Why communicate.  ---  1/24/2006

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) After thinking, and reading, communication is key.  Finding someone who will continually surprise you with new ideas.  Someone who is unpredictable.  Someone who you can not "figure out" in five minutes.  Someone who will not bore you.  Someone you can keep the long, intimate, deep rap going with for many years.  A friend.  (2) The problem is it is very difficult to (A) Stay on the topic of complex philosophical questions without becoming confused.  (B) Use conversation as psychological therapy without feeling the heartache therapy results in.  (C) Discuss world problems without growing despondent.  Yet these are the topics we must address.  This is why real conversation is so difficult to maintain.  ---  10/20/1997

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) How inarticulate must one be to communicate by sending flowers?  (2) How difficult it must be to communicate if we resort to sending flowers.  (3) Each of us communicates differently, with a different set of symbols and meanings.  For example, words meant much to me, but not to her, so I gave her a hug.  ---  3/14/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) How much communication do we need?  Everyone, average person, specific person.  (2) What types do we need?  (3) Why do we need it?  (4) Why is it so tough and only possible with a few?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) Normal words can be used in a derogatory manner.  Example, When you call an adult a "boy".  (2) If you use the word asshole to describe a person, then that use is defamatory.  But you can use any word to describe an idea, because you can only defame a person.  ---  12/5/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) One of the many non-linguistic phenomena associated with communication is the phenomenon of turn taking.  We take turns when we converse.  (2) Turn taking in communication leads to two different possible mistakes.  (A) One mistake of communicative turn taking is interruption or the hogging of time and turns.  Speaking when the other person is speaking, or speaking when its someone else's turn to speak.  (B) Another, often less noticed, yet equally important, mistake in communicative turn taking is not speaking when its your turn.  Its a mistake to keep silent when its your turn to speak.  (3) The less formal the communicative interaction the less turn taking norms apply.  The more friendly and informal the communicative interaction the more we permit enthusiastic interruptions.  ---  11/20/2004

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) Subtlety: capable of discerning and making distinctions between similar meanings.  Subtle does not mean unclear, to self or to who you are talking to.  (2) Discreet: being clear to who you are talking to, but being private so know one else knows.  (3) Vague: unclear.  (4) Ambiguous: multiple meanings possible.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) Thinking defined as a form of communication with self.  (2) Communication defined as a form of thinking between people.  ---  8/7/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) We cannot help but communicate.  We always communicate.  (2) We always communicate attitudes, which have thought, feeling and memory components.  (3) The ideas we communicate exist on a spectrum from concrete to abstract.  (4) The words we communicate have multiple meanings, which yield multiple messages having multiple layers.  ---  8/6/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  (1) You are always communicating.  You cannot "not communicate".  (2) You are always "saying" or "writing" in both your own language and the language of your audience.  (3) You are always "listening" or "reading" in both your language and the language of the other person.  (4) What does the brain do beside communicate?  ---  8/7/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  A complaint about fashion is that fashion styles are completely arbitrary.  However, fashion styles are symbols, and all symbols are arbitrary.  Language and most other forms of human communication involve the creation of a set of arbitrary symbols.  Another trait of human communication is that meaning (of symbols) varies with culture or setting.  ---  8/6/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Age.  Communication increases with age up to a point (mid twenties), then communication decreases with age.  Why?  Combonation of physical, psychological, and social factors.  We figure things out for real.  We figure out our attitudes.  Less wonder, less social equality, less energy.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Age.  The golden age of communication is age 14 to 21.  At this age you have the leisure time to have many extended chats.  You also have just developed the capacity to think critically.  Many new problems enter your mind.  You have not formed set views on them yet.  As a group, you are all basically faced with the same problems, and thus have much in common to discuss.  As teenagers you are all undifferentiated, amorphous blobs.  After age 21 you have less time due to work.  We become differentiated as we grow older, on our own trips, with our own problems and needs.  We start to understand each other less.  We have figured out our views and don't care to discuss them as much.  Talk becomes less productive, a waste of time.  We get less out of it.  Less learning and growing comes from it.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, communication.  ---  Analyze the message.  Truth/lies, important/unimportant, clear/unclear, powerful/not, logical/illogical, information/entertainment.  Concise, precise, organized, prioritized, decisive, subtle, expressive.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Areas of communication: work, like/lust, family, friends.  Participants and their nature and relationship to each other.  Communicating with women, kids, etc.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Attempts at communications with humans.  Questions to ask: (1) What is your philosophy?  (2) What are your politics?  ---  6/23/2006

Sociology, communication.  ---  Audience.  It does not pay to talk down (dumb) to people.  If everyone did this we will all end up thinking, speaking and hearing dumb.  Bring them up to your level, don't dumb down to their level.  ---  01/22/1989

Sociology, communication.  ---  Before television, radio, movies, phonograph and Internet, people talked to each other.  Then they stopped talking to each other when the above technologies arrived.  Today one can survive without speaking to anyone.  Today, most communication has become one way, passive interaction with machines.  ---  1/17/2002

Sociology, communication.  ---  Call things what they are, in plain english.  All else is confusing insanity, a waste of time and mental energy.  Ex. Don't give things number names, or names that have nothing to do with what the thing is.  ---  08/07/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  Code in communication.  PART ONE.  Two uses of code.  (1) Code as hiding.  That is, code to prevent a message for being read by those not intended.  (2) Code as symbolizing, but not necessarily hiding.  That is, code to make problem-solving easier through abstraction.  For example, by using symbolic logic.  PART TWO.  Code as hiding.  Originally code was used to hide communication. For example, code was used to hide communication for military or political or economic advantage.  Code was used to hide talk about illegal subjects (criminals).  Code was used to hide talk about taboo subjects (deviants).  PART THREE.  Code as symbolizing to transmogrify a problem.  Code as translation into a language we understand.  For example, talking about electrons orbiting the nucleus of an atom as being like planets orbiting the sun.  For example, translating complex ideas into the concepts of nature to explain it to hill-people.  Code to create a program that a machine can run (example, computer code).  ---  1/1/2002

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication and ethics.  Yes, we can talk about anything, but in the interest of time and energy, shouldn't we talk about the most important things?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication can be very difficult.  (1) You can say something and someone will claim not to understand you.  (2) The next person will claim that you mean the opposite of what you said.  (3) The third person will understand you, but will falsely try to persuade a fourth person that you mean the opposite of what you said.  (4) How does anyone understand anyone?  ---  3/13/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication complex: subject, duration, frequency, intensity.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication complex: subject, issue/question, view, argument, evidence.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication defined as sharing information.  ---  4/15/2005

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication is the primary method of human social interaction.  Of the time spent with others, people spend most of that time talking.  Communication is primarily a cooperative activity, not a competitive or conflict activity.  Thus, human social behavior is primarily communicative and cooperative.  ---  11/25/2005

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication should be logical, grammatical and meaningful.  ---  4/15/2005

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication with who: friends vs. opponent/foe.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication, that is, the exchange of information, is the most common social activity.  ---  1/1/2006

Sociology, communication.  ---  Communication: (1) How much do we need, what types, with who?  (2) Why do we need it?  (3) Why is it so tough, why is it only possible with a few?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Computer.  Communicating by email is like trying to run a foot race (100 yard dash or marathon) in ski boots.  ---  2/29/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Computer.  Email is not my favored form of communication because it cannot capture the subtlety of face to face communication in terms of vocal tone, gesture and immediacy of feedback.  ---  2/29/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Content (say) vs. intent (mean).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Degree of sophistication.  Degree of intimacy/revelation.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Don't understand vs. don't agree vs. don't care, not interested.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  (1) Signal: attention grabber.  (2) Sign: the thing itself.  (3) Symbol: represents something else.  (4) Gesture: body language symbol.  (5) Icon: stands for a set of symbols.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  Environment: effects on communication.  Time: of communication, and duration.  Order: you give information.  Speed: you give information.  Total message, parts.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  Response time, or time takes to figure out what was said and what to respond.  To develop an adequate answer vs. to develop a great answer.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  Talking vs. listening.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  Time spent on what subjects.  What you manage to say, how many ideas, how important, how new.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Elements.  Who, says what, when, where, how (with what emotion, through what medium), how effectively/skillfully, to who, why (to get what, to do what).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Email sucks.  Never email if you can talk on the phone.  Never talk on the phone if you can talk in person face-to-face.  ---  4/10/2007

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ethics and communication.  Honest and open vs. lies and secrets.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Evasiveness.  What happens when one person is interested in a topic and another is not: changing the subject, escape hatches, red herrings, and other clever ways to stall and avoid questions and b.s. in general.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Exactness.  Not only must you say what you mean, you must say it so it can't be taken any other way.  Ambiguity is b.s..  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Explicit (say directly) vs. implicit (implied).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Express your needs.  Inquire as to their needs.  Hear their needs.  Verify what they say.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Figure out what a person "needs to hear from you".  ---  9/20/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  Focus.  Can you maintain focus in conversation?  Keep self from drifting, and keep other person from drifting.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Four levels of communication.  (1) Written e-mail.  (2) Phone talk.  Where you can hear vocal inflections.  (3) Audio/video.  Where you can see facial expressions.  (4) Face to face talk.  Where you have a three dimensional encounter.  The distance between speakers matters.  People touch each other.  (5) However, some email romances are better than some face to face romances.  So go figure.  ---  9/7/1999

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip is a low power strategy, traditionally used by women, who were often in low power positions.  ---  10/30/1997

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip tactics.  They try to mock and humiliate their perceived enemies.  ---  5/8/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip, types of.  (1) Gossip that is lies, slander and libel.  (2) Gossip that is truths, yet spiteful, vindictive, holier than thou, and malicious.  (3) If you are saying something good then its not gossip (?).  ---  4/25/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip.  Various definitioins of gossip.  (1) Some people say its not gossip if its simply stating the facts.  Thats not true.  (2) Some people say gossip is not malicious if its simply stating the facts.  That is not true.  ---  5/6/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip.  Various definitions of gossip.  Gossip defined as talking about other people.  Gossip as defined as malicious talk about other people.  Gossip as lying talk about other people.  ---  5/6/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip.  Why do people gossip?  (1) They feel insecure and thus attack others.  (2) They feel they need to boost their self esteem at the expense of others.  (3) They feel they need to "win" and "be number one" at any cost.  (4) They have nothing else to do except talk about other people.  (5) Gossip is akin to bullying.  (6) Those who engage in gossip degrade themselves.  Gossip is more degrading to the gossiper.  ---  5/6/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip.  Why do people gossip?  When people let atrophy, through lack of use, their ability to think abstractly then they have no recourse but to talk about what is before them.  I am not a fan of gossip.  ---  5/8/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  Gossip.  You would be surprised how interested some people are in you.  They want to find out all about you.  They want to find your weak spots and vulnerabilities.  They want to take advantage of you.  They want to destroy you for their gain or just for laughs.  ---  10/23/2003

Sociology, communication.  ---  I think we should write as if we had to pay by the word.  However, if we had to pay by the word, we would all be writing in "telegram" style.  Stop.  ---  4/11/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideal communication.  The goal is to make yourself understood.  So you may have to speak their language (slang, etc.).  ---  9/20/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideal: instant access to everything ever written, from any language into any language.  Introductions to any area of subject, on any level of learning (grade school, high school, college, graduate school).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideal: when you communicate with someone, quickly cut to the core.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideal.  Information needs to be timely, complete, concise, accurate, and relevant.  ---  09/26/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideal.  Perfect balance of emotion and reason.  No excess or lack in either one.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  (1) Good communication = knowing when to say what to who, how, and why.  (2) Bad communication = not knowing same.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  (1) Important ideas, powerfully communicated.  (2) Bad communication vs. good communication, traits of each.  (3) Communicate sometimes greatly, often adequately, and never poorly.  (4) Make them think, make them feel.  (5) Honest, effective, and practical.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  (1) Productive thinking.  (2) Productive communication: problem solving.  (3) Productive action.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  (1) Stay focused.  (2) Talk about what is most important.  (3) Say what is most important.  (4) Get the feeling right.  (5) Put it in logical order.  (6) Put it in priority order: importance, chronological.  (7) Be direct.  (8) Don't b.s.  (9) Don't beat about the bush.  (10) Don't be metaphorical.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  Degree of effectiveness.  What you could have communicated vs. what did get through.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  Effective communication is tough because you must form all the proper thoughts, in logical order, with no b.s. ideas or non-germane ideas, and with no differences in symbol meaning systems of the participants.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Ideals.  Real good communication is very, very rare.  Deep, frequent, and prolonged.  Logical, concerning many important subjects, with feeling.  Understanding, and agreeing.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  If you can read, you must know how to write?  If you can write, you must know how to read?  ---  5/30/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  In today's society writing text has usurped speaking and reading text has usurped listening.  Text has usurped voice.  ---  7/25/2002

Sociology, communication.  ---  Increasing levels of complexity of communication.  (1) Argument: strictly logical.  (2) Rhetoric: emotional persuasion added in.  (3) Discourse: changing meaning of text added in.  ---  07/30/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  Knowing but not telling.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Levels of abstraction.  (1) Concrete: it is what is.  (2) Association: it reminds one of other things.  (3) ? : one symbol with many possible meanings.  (4) ? : one symbol with one meaning.  Note: everything has all four above levels of meaning.  ---  8/6/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Limits of communication.  What is there to talk about really?  What can we really say?  How well can we say it?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Listening.  (1) Listening as hearing.  (2) Listening as hearing and understanding.  (3) Listening as hearing, understanding and empathizing.  ---  11/15/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Me and communication.  (1) My communication style: open, honest.  (2) Development of my communication style.  (3) What I like and need from others.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Me.  My communication style.  Exploratory, tangential, riffing, emotional (tones, gestures, words), dramatic, revelatory, spontaneous, animated, hyperbolic, colorful.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Message wanted to send vs. message sent vs. message received.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Modes.  Cultures and individuals that speak, read, write, combos.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Modes.  Just as there is a difference between cultures that think, speak, read, and write, so is there a difference between people who do same.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Modes.  Oral traditions vs. written traditions.  The differences between them.  Pros and cons of each.  How it affects other areas.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Multimedia.  Communication today is increasingly multimedia.  Multimedia adds more information.  Multimedia makes it easier to understand.  (1) Visuals with text.  Photos.  Diagrams.  Charts.  Graphs.  Maps.  Computer graphics.  Graphic design.  (2) Sound with text.  Soundbites.  Music.  (3) Audio/visual with text.  Video clips.  ---  8/16/2006

Sociology, communication.  ---  Other ways to communicate besides language: random grunts, growls, cries, laughs, etc.  ---  11/20/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  PART ONE.  History of communication tools.  (1) Data storage tools.  (2) Data manipulation tools.  (3) Data communication tools.  (4) Data collaboration tools.     PART TWO.  The Future.  (1) Machines assist human mentalizing.  The human-machine interaction.  (2) Continued development of collaboration.  The human-human interaction.  (3) Human-data interaction.  A bigger pool of free data, better organized, easier and quicker to navigate at the speed of thought.  ---  9/19/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Patches, buttons, and stickers.  What is the fascination teenagers have with them?  Bright and colorful trinkets.  They say things, short and sweet, colorfully and with an attitude.  ---  04/30/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  People like to make clear distinctions, however, I must say, at this point I lump together the following categories: (1) People who talk to other people.  (2) People who talk to their pets.  (3) People who talk to their plants.  (4) People who talk to their television sets.  ---  9/10/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Persuasion, attitude change, and social psychology.  Easily persuaded or not.  Persuasive or not.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Possible communication problems.  (1) Everyone is writing.  No one is reading.  Why write if no one reads?  (2) Every one is reading.  No one is writing.  How is that possible?  (3) Substitute speaking and listening and you get two more problems.  Everyone is speaking and no one is listening.  Everyone is listening and no one is speaking.  (4) Is the ideal to read 50% and write 50%?  Is the ideal to listen 50% and speak 50%?  ---  5/14/2004

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems of communication.  "Mind reading."  Some people make the mistake of assuming mind reading.  (1) Some people make the mistake of thinking other people can read their mind.  (2) Some people make the mistake of assuming they can read other people's minds.  (3) There is no mind reading.  Communication should be overt, not covert.  Communication should be explicit, not implicit.  Do not assume mind reading takes place.  ---  4/20/2005

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  (1) Incoherent rambling, illogical.  (2) Does not sound like you mean it.  Insincere.  Untruthful.  Insincerity is a type of falseness.  ---  4/20/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  (1) Tangent mania.  (2) Using people as your shrink.  (3) Dominating conversation vs. too passive.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  (1) When one person thinks a throw away line is etched in stone.  (2) When one person thinks a line etched in stone is a throw away line.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Communication message conflict.  (1) Bad communication.  (A) Say wrong thing, or omit right thing.  (B) Double meanings and multiple definitions reduces communication efficiency.  (C) Different people with vastly different definitions for same words reduces communication effectiveness too.  (D) Ambiguity of words (generalness or inexactness) reduces communication efficiency.  (E) Ignorance of definitions decreases communication.  (2) Solutions.  (A) One word, one definition.  (B) Say the same thing three different ways.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Most people communicate poorly, most people waste words.  Unimportant ideas, unimportant subjects.  Poorly communicated, few truths, much b.s..  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Person A wants to talk and person B doesn't.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Saying the wrong thing vs. not saying the right thing (by degree, to get your goal).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  See traits of good and bad writing.  (1) Unfocused, unthought out, unorganized.  (2) Rushed delivery vs. too slow delivery.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Some people ramble.  What causes it?  Unselfconscious, unrigorous thought, unconsciously or consciously.  Some think it is not that bad.  They think it is good.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Three problems.  (1) Individuals who read but never write.  (2) Individuals who write but never read.  (3) Individuals who speak but never read and write.  ---  5/30/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Trivial, banal, stupid, cliche', small talk.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  Two problems.  (1) Conclusions with no argument.  (2) Arguments with no conclusion, no point.  ---  11/15/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Problems.  We don't communicate enough about important things, as lovers, as parents, etc.  We don't think.  We don't lay things out logically.  We don't add feeling to them.  We never develop best attitudes, and if we do, we don't care to share them.  ---  06/30/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  Propaganda, public relations and rhetoric are all the persuasion game.  Is all communication the persuasion game?  At least, to persuade the audience that the speaker is telling the truth, not lying, and has good intentions.  Persuade you to the speakers point of view.  ---  6/5/2004

Sociology, communication.  ---  Public speaking.  (1) One on one vs. large group.  (2) Prepared vs. off cuff.  (3) How to do it well?  Stay on target, stay well organized, cut to heart of matter, act serious, don't drift, sound confident and sure, don't hesitate, be clear, be direct, look them in the eye, transmit emotion.  ---  06/06/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Real communication is mostly impossible.  We should not expect it to occur.  We should be surprised when it does occur.  Just making the effort to communicate is enough.  In those rare instances when people understand each other, do not expect agreement.  Diversity of thought is the norm, thankfully.  ---  4/11/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  (1) Communication and politics.  One could argue that all communications is political.  All communication is persuasion used to gain power.  All communication is power struggle.  (2) Communication and sex.  One could argue that all communication is sexual.  (3) Communication and economics.  One could argue that all communication follows economic laws.  Costs of communication (ex. telegram, snail mail, phone, Internet).  Exchange theory of communication: You give, and you want to get, thought and emotion.  ---  4/11/2000

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  (1) Psychology: interior aspects of meaning.  Development of meaning: change in concept type and level.  (2) Sociology: shared meanings.  (3) Law: limits on free speech.  (4) Economics: how communication technology increases productivity.  (5) Education: education as communication of ideas.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Communication and art.  Art as communication of thought and emotion that both informs and entertains.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Psycho-analysis.  (1) Criticism of phrases.  What do they reflect: slights and power plays vs. friendliness and openness.  Is it a good or bad phrase to use and why?  (2) Leaving expressions.  Later, see you later, so long, see you next time, see you whenever.  (3) Meeting expressions.  Hey, what's up, what's happening, what's going on.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Psychology and communication.  Cognitive dissonance is conflicting messages.  Conflict of what meant vs. what said.  Words said, emotions said, face, body clothes.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Psychology and communication.  Neurotic repression as cause or effect of non-communication.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Psychology and communication.  Screening: out, in.  Repressing.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Sociological aspects of communication.  How much you control it vs. how much they control it vs. how much it just drifts.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related areas.  Sociology and communication: power and fighting.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Related subjects.  (1) Psychotherapy and communication.  Talking can make you feel better and make you mentally healthier.  (2) Sex and communication.  Communication differences between men and women.  (3) Age and communication.  Communication styles of children, teens, adults and elderly.  ---  4/20/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  Sending (talk, gesture) and receiving (see, hear) emotions and ideas in order to communicate attitudes.  ---  1/25/1998

Sociology, communication.  ---  Silence = death?  Silence = consent?  Silence = a virtue?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Silence.  It is not only what you are saying that is confusing me, it is also what you are not saying.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Silence.  Saying nothing is like saying something bad to people.  Little hello's reassure them.  ---  10/30/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Small talk.  (1) Frankly you don't want to get too involved with the people you work with.  So you would rather say nothing to them.  But you have to say something or people get suspicious or resentful.  So you talk about nothing (ex. The weather), and say nothing real.  Fake friendly but not familiar.  It is empty, trite, trivia, boring, bullshit, fake, lying, but it works, it helps people get along.  It is lying to self though, and repression.  You have to be with them, even if you don't want to, and you didn't choose to be with them.  Trapped enemies.  Argumentative topics like religion, politics, and sex are off limits.  (2) After a life at work, adults get unconsciously stuck in this mode.  Teenagers however have a need for real communication, real talk.  Saying what you really think and feel.  Saying what you think is important and true, problems and solutions.  And they are pissed off when they can't get it just anywhere.  They can't get it from their parents.  The teens know something is wrong, but don't know what or why or the solution.  (3) I don't go to work to have real relationships or real talk.  I go to fill a role and play a game.  ---  06/12/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Small talk.  Keep chatting.  (1) The urge not to chat.  (A) I am absorbed in thought.  (B) I hate small talk.  (C) I am disgusted with my intellectual and moral inferiors.  (2) However, there is also the need to chat.  (A) As a social lubricant.  (B) To keep channels open.  (C) To reassure people.  (D) So things do not degenerate into silent hatreds.  ---  01/10/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Social interaction.  (1) Some people feel silence means "everything is fine", and talk is required only when there is a problem.  (2) Some feel shallow talk means "everything is all right", and silence or deep talk is an indicator that there is a problem.  (3) Some feel that deep talk means that "everything is all right", and that shallow talk or silence is an indicator that there is a problem.  When these three types of people interact with each other there can be misunderstanding.  (4) Some people talk in either case (all right or problem).  (5) Some people are quiet in either case (all right or problem).  ---  06/01/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Speaking.  (1) Public vs. private, planned vs. off cuff.  (2) Pitch, volume, timbre.  (3) Posture, gesture, facial expression.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  (1) Revealing others.  Questioning and listening.  Getting others to reveal information or beliefs so you can figure them out.  (2) Con man.  Getting others to confide in you, and to trust you.  Make them think you are honest, and of their kind.  The good con artist never shows himself.  The mark never knows he has been taken until long after.  ---  10/05/1994

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  (1) Saying what you think and feel.  (A) To get catharsis and stay healthy, and (B) To take an ethical stand, and (C) To be the voice of reason.  (2) Saying what you think they want to hear to get a goal.  (3) "A" is healthier than "B".  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  (1) When in doubt, say it.  (2) Know what you want, communicate to get it.  (3) Picking subject, ideas, tone, words, grammar.  (4) Say what you mean, mean what you say.  (5) Listen critically.  (6) Don't talk about the unimportant to kill time, or out of laziness.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  Best way to present information.  What media, what order (conceptual structure).  Worst ways to present information.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  In what situation, with what audience, what messages send?  How do so, to get what goals?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  Leave nothing important out vs. leave nothing unimportant in.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Techniques.  Rhetoric.  The right idea works best.  The right idea gets goal most, fast, cheap, without getting anti-goals.  The right idea is not necessarily truest idea, and is not necessarily most ethical idea.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  The futility of communication: different people have different concepts for same word.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Things to ask people.  (1) What's going on?  How do you see the world?  (2) What's the plan?  What to do?  What's the program?  ---  6/23/2005

Sociology, communication.  ---  Understanding how communication works is a big part of understanding how the mind works.  We can communicate with words, images, music, gestures, etc., and each of those abilities are major areas of the mind, so in total, communication encompasses a large part of the mind.  ---  8/6/2001

Sociology, communication.  ---  What determines whether you talk to someone about something?  If you're unsure of your analysis of something.  If you have questions about how to analyze something.  If you know what's bugging you, deal directly with it.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What good is a great idea if it is not communicated, or communicated sub-optimally, or wrong message given, or communicated partially?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  All behavior communicates.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  All communication is rhetorical argument to get goals and satisfy drives.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  Art, advertising, and conversation (persuading you to see my view, to inhabit my world) is all creation and communication of a world.  A World = a set of things (concrete and abstract ideas) and their relationships.  The world can have its own logic and ethics.  ---  07/30/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  Can't help but communicate somehow.  Silence can speak louder than words.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  Communication is important, difficult, and complex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  Communication is struggle.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  What.  Encoding, sending, receiving, decoding (interpreting).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Why we communicate.  (1) Reasons to talk: bored, pain, need help.  (2) Reasons not to talk: no energy, no time.  You are no help, your below me.  Competition.  Don't want to hurt, don't want to be hurt.  Don't know it could help with a problem they don't know they have.  Afraid of threats to their psychology or lifestyle.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  Why.  (1) Communication is key for social cooperation.  Understanding the other person's metaphysical, epistemological, and ethical views, and negotiating disputes to solve problems and conflicts.  (2) The two main factors in sociology are (A) How well two people(s) understand where each other is coming from.  (B) How they will settle their disputes.  Also, (C) How intellectually, emotionally, morally, etc., advanced they each are.  ---  09/15/1993

Sociology, communication.  ---  Why.  Communication is important in order to coordinate, cooperate, stay healthy, avoid violence, and negotiate or compromise.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, communication.  ---  You don't understand vs. you don't make any sense.  Arguments on both sides of a communication.  ---  06/30/1993

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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.