Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”

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Sociology, family.  ---  .This section is about family.  Topics include: ( ) Marriage.  ---  1/24/2006

Sociology, family.  ---  (1) Marriage is not for everyone.  (2) Kids is not for everyone.  (A) Poor genetics.  (B) Poor ability to raise kids without neglect or abuse, whether it be financial, physical, or psychological (intellectual, emotional).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  (1) Some people's view on family: kids need a parent of each sex.  Specifically, boys need a male authority figure or else they grow up to be criminals (or wimps or faggots).  (2) Opposing view: single sex parent of same or opposite sex of child can raise a kid fine.  So can gay parenting (two parents of same sex), of same or opposite sex of child.  It is no worse than two parents of opposite sex.  Some people see the nuclear family as absolute and vital, but that is not true.  There is no such thing as a nuclear family.  The world, and everyone you meet in it, is all one big extended family.  Society is the "big family".  Children seek role models outside the nuclear family.  Other groups, like relatives and friends, form other "families" for the individual.  (3) The word "family" is a bogus word.  The word "nuclear family" is a bogus word.  The word "illegitimate" is bogus, because being born out of wedlock does not make you illegitimate or not count.  (4) Divorce is not such a tragedy.  Kids may "miss" their parents, but it is strictly emotional attachment only.  ---  07/01/1994

Sociology, family.  ---  Associations and organizations of like minded people are becoming the new family.  There will need to be a loners association.  ---  08/12/1993

Sociology, family.  ---  Becoming a parent makes a person neurotic.  Unless they are neurotic to begin with, in which case they become psychotic.  ---  9/17/2001

Sociology, family.  ---  Blood.  If someone gives birth to you that doesn't mean they're good or right.  It doesn't mean you have to like or obey them.  They have a duty to raise you.  Do you have a duty to them?  No.  Even if they helped you?  No.  Especially if they hurt you?  No.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Children without parents are called "orphans".  Adults without children are in a somewhat similar boat, and they should get their own name because they are marginalized and discriminated against just like orphans are.  ---  11/20/2001

Sociology, family.  ---  Computers.  The computer in many ways improves the family.  (1) Email and instant messaging allow dispersed members more interaction.  (2) The Internet makes possible cheaper long distance phone calls.  (3) Families become more extended and less nuclear in a networked world.  There is more support, more diversity and thus less pathology.  ---  3/9/2000

Sociology, family.  ---  Dynamics.  For the stages of child, teen, and adult, what are the dynamics between (1) Brothers and sisters.  (2) Sisters.  (3) Brothers.  (4) Daughter and mother.  (A) Child: love?  (B) Teen: model?  (C) Adult: competitor?  (5) Daughter and Father.  (A) Child: fear?  (B) Teen: desire?  (C) Adult:   (6) Son and Mother.  (A) Child: love.  (B) Teen: desire?  (C) Adult:  (7) Son and Father.  (A) Child: fear?  (B) Teen: model?  (C) Adult: competitor.  ---  10/10/1997

Sociology, family.  ---  Dysfunctional family dynamics.  (1) In families where there are neurotic parents there really is no adult present since the neurotic adult is really a child.  Therefore the child has no adult model, and fails to mature for lack of an adult model.  (2) Or the child may have a dysfunctional adult model, and grows up emulating a dysfunctional adult.  (3) Or the parent may be physically or psychologically absent.  The psychologically absent parent can be absent in (A) Attention provided, (B) Emotional capability, (C) Reasoning displayed.  (4) The smothering parent keeps the child in a child state and prevents them from maturing.  ---  02/28/1998

Sociology, family.  ---  Family is b.s.  There is no freedom of choice of the family you are born into.  You owe your rents nothing.  If they didn't want to work at raising kids then they shouldn't have had them.  Family values is b.s.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Family or any group (community, race, religion, nation).  (1) Do you put them before all vs. do you say they don't matter at all (individual is most important)?  (2) Is it predetermined vs. do you choose your own?  (3) How much time spend together.  Who listens to who.  How effect each other.  Roles of each (what you would like it to be vs. what it is).  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, family.  ---  Family relationships.  (1) Father son relationships.  Father daughter relationships.  (2) Mother son relationships.  Mother daughter relationships.  (3) Brother relationships.  Sisters relationships.  Brother sister relationships.  (4) Ideal and problem types.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Family relationships.  (1) Husband, wife, spouse.  (2) Father, mother, parent.  (3) Daughter, son, child.  (4) Brother, sister, sibling.  (5) What are the most important ideas about these relationships and roles.  What are the functions of these relationships and roles.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Family, four views on (1) Whoever takes care of each other is okay.  (2) Single parent is okay.  (3) It takes two parents to split the work and time of raising a kid.  (4) It takes two parents of opposite sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  If your family has unethical values then your family values suck.  ---  11/20/2004

Sociology, family.  ---  If your family is unethical then your family loyalty is bullshit.  Loyalty to an unethical family is bullshit.  ---  11/20/2004

Sociology, family.  ---  Just as we provide daycare for children, we should provide day care for the elderly.  ---  11/30/1999

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage and me:  Get a pre-nuptual contract.  Get a vasectomy.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage as a religious and legal institution is bogus.  ---  11/20/2004

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage, kids and me, would be a major mistake.  (1) Kids would drive me crazy.  (2) I would drive kids crazy.  (3) I can barely take care of myself.  (4) I would flee or breakdown or explode.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage: (1) Arguments pro marriage.  (2) Arguments contra marriage.  (A) Sexual enslavement.  (B) Jerked around more.  (C) Highway robbery.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  (1) I don't believe in marriage; as a religious, social, or legal institution.  (2) Four views on marriage.  Some believe in monogamy for life, serial monogamy, free love, or bigamy.  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  Gays should not need to get married.  Marriage should be abolished for all, as a legal, social, and religious institution.  ---  07/03/1994

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  Pre-marital sex is not wrong.  Marriage is wrong.  ---  11/30/1997

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  Reasons people get married.  (1) Women: for money, security, status.  (2) Men: for sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  They jerk you around more when you are married.  Society does, and spouse does.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Marriage.  Unmarrieds.  (1) Living together but not married because of (A) Divorce in past.  (B) Don't believe in marriage.  (2) Haven't found the right person.  (A) Not looking enough.  (B) Isolated or poor situation.  (C) High standards (justified or unjustified).  (D) Very unique, different, rare.  (3) Incapable of having a relationship (neurotics).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Most important ideas.  Your family is arbitrary.  It is just luck, bad or good, that you are with them.  You do not owe them.  If they do you harm then leave.  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, family.  ---  Parents should be a guide (show all and tell all).  Instead most parents are (1) Neurotics.  (2) Don't know how to parent well.  (3) Don't parent well.  (4) It is not instinctual, Spock.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Parents, problems with.  (1) Not only would you never choose them as friends, (2) They actually have power over you.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Rents.  The parent problem (relationship of child to parent, not visa versa).  (1) It was chance you were born to them.  (2) You don't owe them nothing.  (3) You are not a slave.  (4) You are not an insurance policy for them.  (5) This goes double if they do things against you, intentionally or unintentionally.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, family.  ---  Single parents.  Even if a child has a female and male parent, sometimes the breadwinner is physically or emotionally absent and thus neglect ensues.  Or the parent may be ignorant, complacent, or abusive.  In these cases it is better to have a healthy single parent or two healthy same sex parents.  ---  08/15/1994

Sociology, family.  ---  So much of family interaction, just like any other group, is about factions, taking sides, ganging up, and playing favorites.  ---  8/8/1998

Sociology, family.  ---  Some argue that peers have greater effect on shaping teen behavior than family does.  ---  9/22/1998

Sociology, family.  ---  Some believe in family for (1) Raising kids (what about nannies and child care?).  (2) Sex.  (3) Companionship and friendship (what about friends?).  (4) Economic reasons (cheaper to live, less taxes too).  (5) Political reasons (family as a powerful business organization, like a syndicate).  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, family.  ---  The nuclear family is not necessary.  (1) For millions of years we were raised in extended families.  (2) Many cultures still use extended families.  (3) Child care is just an extension of the extended family concept.  (4) Like the kibbutz of Israel, for example, extended family child raising can be very successful.  ---  09/10/1994

Sociology, family.  ---  Three definitions of family.  (1) Family that raised you.  (2) Family of those stuck in same boat as you (peers of age, school, work, neighborhood, situation).  (3) Family of those who love what you love, who choose what you choose (hobby, or philosophical views).  (4) That is, who you are stuck with vs. who you choose.  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, family.  ---  Various dynamics are set up depending on the number of kids you have.  (1) Only child and two parents.  Each parent and the child all face a triad.  Three triads exist.  (2) Three kids and two parents.  Each kid faces two triads:  the triad with the parents, and the triad with the siblings.  (3) Triads are unstable and hurtful.  One person is always left out (like a love triangle).  Triads create suspicion and jealously.  (4) Single parent with two kids.  Triads again.  (5) Single parent, one kid.  Pair.  (6) Two parents, two kids.  No triads between siblings.  Also, zero population growth.  (7) Two parents, four kids.  Ok.  ---  9/30/1996

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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.