Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”

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Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  .This section is about problems of sexuality.  Topics include: ( ) Pathological   ( ) Rejection.  ---  1/24/2006

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  (1) Like: too emotional vs. not emotional enough.  (2) Lust: too horny vs. not horny enough.  Objectively vs. subjectively.  In eyes of either partner, or society.  Why.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  (1) Psychological health (see pathological psychology).  Sadism, masochism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, rape urges, fetishism, transvestia, transexualism.  (2) Physical health.  Stds.  Organic problems: premature ejaculation, retarded ejaculation, frigidity.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  (1) Sex obsession or sex addiction.  When does sex become excessive?  How often doing it.  How often thinking about it.  How much money spent on it.  How many important thoughts and activities put aside in order to pursue thinking or acting on sex.  ---  1/1/2006

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  (1) Too horny vs. not horny enough.  (2) Too emotional (hot) vs. not emotional enough (cold). (3) Why are we forced to walk a tightrope in this life?  Different people perceive giving and receiving of different actions as all four of above.  What levels of above four is healthiest, for specific individual, for specific type, and in general?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  (1) Too much emotional dependence on wrong person (abusers, users, non-givers).  (2) Too little emotional dependence on healthy people.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  At what point does sex become pathological?  (1) Frequency.  (2) Reasons for doing it: horny, anxious.  (3) Fantasy while doing it: healthy or pathological.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Dependent and addictive vs. controlling and domineering vs. independence.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Disease.  How disease gets spread.  (1) People lie, (2) people get carried away, (3) people don't know about the diseases in general, or (4) they don't know that they have a disease.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Don't get caught in unhealthy relationship, or do unhealthy acts.  Dependent vs. domineering, demanding, controlling, pressuring.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Excess or lack, in frequency or types, of acts or quality of partners.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Four problems.  (1) Too much or too little sex (mind or behavior), (2) wrong types, (3) unhealthy sex attitudes, (4) pathological urges.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Getting hurt physically and emotionally, by crazy, stupid, unethical women, or to do same to them.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Healthy and unhealthy relationships and acts.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Healthy sex vs. unhealthy, pathological sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  How frequent and bizarre are your thoughts?  How much can you control your behavior?  How much your like/lust mind and behavior helps or hurts your life.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  If you are neurotic you can't always go on first instinct, feeling, or thought.  Mull it over.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Lack of sex is not healthy.  Hurtful sexual behavior is not healthy.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Living without sex, let alone without love, is degrading.  It is psychologically unhealthy too.  No one should have to live without sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Obstacles in relationships and odds of overcoming them.  (1) Physical: any diseases, especially incurables.  (2) No unwanted kids.  (3) No emotional damage: give or receive.  (4) Study and learn about it.  (5) Get enough (keep trying).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  One problem is that some people think sex is natural, healthy, good, physical exercise.  There should be something more to sex.  Even beyond a spark (of love) or spice (variety).  There should be something dangerous, menacing, and thus thrilling about sex.  Yet without sex being evil or hurtful.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex adds to stress, it does not relieve stress.  ---  10/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex causes paranoia, guilt, and depression.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex is giving up the all American dream.  It is one thing to realize we may never reach it.  It is another thing to give up the pursuit of it.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex is psychologically destructive, socially dangerous, illegal, and unethical to others.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex, and excessive sexual behavior and "minding" is not evil, it is just a waste of time.  ---  07/27/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex, pro and contra.  (1) Are you expanding your partner and yourself, or are you corrupting your partner and yourself?  Are you safely experimenting and living out fantasies, or are you developing permanent bad habits?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex: types, and effects on head.  Healthy sex: types, and effects on head.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex.  (1) Bad social backlash, (2) it is habit forming, (3) ruins regular sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological sex.  After initial sub-optimal and pathological sex experimentation, life is too short to waste time on it, and not searching out ideal relationship.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  (1) At some point pathological sex hurts (psychic disintegration) more than it gives pleasure.  It is difficult to tell what point this is.  (2) Pathological sex is not as enjoyable as sub-optimal sex, which is not as enjoyable as healthy sex.  ---  08/02/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  (1) Sex repression.  Telling yourself you don't want it.  Telling yourself it is not important.  (2) Sex frustration.  Not getting it though you want it.  (3) Both spell disaster.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  After you have thoroughly explored all the fetishes, then normal sex seems strange and alluring.  ---  11/02/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  All sexual kinks (homosexuality, s&m, fetish, tv, etc) are a matter of taste.  There's nothing ethical about it.  There is no pathological sex.  As long is does not hurt anyone.  ---  5/15/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Four levels of pathological sex dependency.  (1) Not being able to get hard, or (2) not being able to come, (3) without thinking of pathological ideas, or (4) without engaging in pathological acts.  ---  11/27/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Guys get more kinks than girls because (1) They have stronger drives (more input), and (2) They can't cry (fewer outlets).  ---  11/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Person A feels and thinks pathological urges more, and more often, than person B.  Person B acts on it, while person A does not.  Who is worse, A or B?  Who is ethically more evil?  Who is psychologically sicker?  Person B because they acted on it?  Person A because they felt it more?  What if A feels it more than B and does not act?  You could say he is in worse shape, even if he is repressing it.  They are both in sad shape.  What if B just does the action "for a laugh", or "for an experiment"; is such a thing possible?  ---  11/10/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m is a subject that has been beaten almost to death by the media.  ---  4/26/2001

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m is about psychological repression.  It is an expression of the need to remain in a psychologically repressed state.  ---  09/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m is just a caricature of everyday relationship pathologies such as the possessive, controlling boyfriend (dominant) or the needy, clingy girlfriend (submissive).  ---  4/6/1999

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m is the same as high school power games.  Seeing how much a woman can get a guy to do by using (1) Promise of sex, or threat of withdrawal of attention or sex; or (2) Actual reward and punishment.  It all depends on how desperate (alone), horny, stupid, spineless, and submissive the guy is, and how manipulative, clever, and machievellian the woman is.  ---  11/02/1996

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  (1) How much control do they want to get or give up?  (2) How much control, submission, or independence do they both like?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  (1) Transvestia.  Fear of failure as a man.  (2) S&m.  (A) Guilt (for whatever unconscious acts) and punishment wish.  (B) Beaten as a kid.  ---  08/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  (1)(A) Causes of submissiveness: learned helplessness.  (B) Causes of masochism: beaten as child and see pain as attention and love.  Or feeling guilty and seeking punishment.  (2)(A) Causes of dominants: power hungry, control freaks.  (B) Causes of sadism: anger and revenge.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  A conflict between superego (which says obey blindly), and id (which says never obey or be controlled).  Develop ego and reduce unconscious power of other two.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  A person may have submissive tendencies because they are repressing and overcompensating for unconscious dominant tendencies which are rooted in existential rage, existential freedom drive, strong id, and thanatos drive.  ---  10/21/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Another S&M theory.  Masochism is anger (especially toward women), and sexual aggression turned inward?  Sadism is the same anger expressed outwardly?  The sadist and masochist are both suffering from the same thing, just showing it in different ways.  ---  04/15/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Braces are a form of S&M.  ---  02/28/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Dominant seeks to gain power.  Submissive seeks to give up power.  Both are unegalitarian, undemocratic.  Both are pathological.  Causes of both: (1) Biochemistry, hereditary.  (2) Early childhood raising.  (3) Experiences later in life.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Everyday life.  How much of "normal", "healthy", and "holy" relationships is covertly (unconsciously or consciously) S&M?  Where one partner holds power, makes decisions, and other partner carries out the actions of the dominant's decisions, and gets punished (physically, verbally, or sexually) for mistakes.  A lot.  ---  11/02/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Everyday life.  S&M phenomena in everyday life.  Women who like to control passive men.  Women who like to be controlled by strong men.  Men who like to control passive women.  Men who like to be controlled by strong women.  The healthy way is to be an equal couple.  ---  12/29/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Give up easily?  Easily discouraged?  You may be too submissive.  Just as some people are pathologically dominant and authoritarian, some people are just the opposite, pathologically submissive.  It is sado-masochism in a non-sexual form of expression.  Learned helplessness is another sign of this phenomena.  ---  7/4/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Interesting aspects of s&m.  (1) Gender issues.  Gender bending, and role reversal.  (2) Political issues.  Power, and giving up power.  (3) Psychological issues.  Mind control.  ---  12/29/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Many people engage in mild forms of s&m.  Is it pathological if you resort to it at crucial moments with disastrous results?  Is it pathological if it interferes with healthy behavior?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Masochist: wants to feel pain (physical, psychological).  Submissive: wants to give up power (childish?).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  One group of participants and observers says it is ok, even healthy to engage in it and sell it.  Another group says it is a problem.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  One view of the cause of S&M.  The desire of a man to be sexually dominated is really the desire to have a mommy.  It is due to a condition where the man has not completely separated psychologically from the mother.  He still is attached to the mother.  He wants his mother.  It is a type of Oedipus complex.  ---  4/28/1999

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  People into s&m.  Who are they, and why are they into it?  How conscious and unconscious are they of their tendencies?  How knowledgeable are they of the psychological and ethical implications of their actions?  How in vs. out of control are they?  ---  4/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Reasons people get into s&m.  (1) Something new, different, and exciting.  (2) Joy of taboo breaking.  (3) Power kicks.  (4) Sick.  For both parties involved.  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  s&m sex acts between consenting adults is fine because it is a mock game.  It is not real.  It is consensual.  It is meant for enjoyment, not for hurt.  (2) The majority of truly sadistic acts in this world are non-sexual, between non-consenting adults, and are intentionally hurtful.  ---  11/16/2003

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Sado-masochistic submission is about loyalty.  (1) Dog-like loyalty.  The same desire to be loyal that drives some people to become soldiers in the military.  (Followers?)  (2) It is child-like loyalty.  Child-like love.  The desire for protection.  ---  5/15/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Several causes of submissiveness.  (1) Because a person is so "alpha-male" dominant.  They take a break to be submissive.  (2) Because one is so wild at heart.  Take a break.  To be civilized.  To be domesticated.  (3) Take a break to be a slave.  (4) To be owned like an object.  To be reduced to the object level.  Which means to take a break from being human or being a person.  (5) To be taken care of like a child.  Which means to take a break from being an adult.  (6) If anything, I veer toward the second.  ---  7/30/2000

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submission.  Both the order obeying authoritarian personality (both militaristic and religious), and the sexually submissive or masochistic personality are actually reverting back to the role of the child obeying the parent.  This is neurotic.  ---  12/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissive says "I give up".  (1) They are giving up their freedom, and thus their responsibility.  (2) They are giving up on the existential struggle as well.  (3) It is a seductive, yet pathological state of affairs.  It is somewhat similar to when people "give in" to god (or The Good), or "give in or surrender" to love.  The problem is, sometimes it is good to give in to certain things, and other times it is bad to give in to certain things.  It is a control problem.  When to give up, keep, or take control?  ---  01/23/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissive.  If masochism is due to (1) Low self esteem and (2) Childish giving up of power, then you should learn to think more highly of yourself and love and care for yourself.  Also, act like an adult.  Be responsible toward yourself and for your actions.  Do so even if you think most adults are phonies and if you trust no one over 30.  ---  12/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissive.  Masochism definitions.  Is it sadism turned inward (inverted)?  Or is it just horny begging?  ---  08/21/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissive.  S&M is about (1) People who will do anything to get attention, love and sex.  (2) People who perceive only humiliation, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and neglect as being love, sexual love, and sex.  ---  12/29/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissive.  Six definitions.  (1) Submissive.  Not cowardly.  General submissiveness vs. sexual submissiveness.  Submissive to all, or just women, or just one woman?  If you are a sexual submissive by choice (lifestyle choice?) it means you can rebel against your submissiveness.  If you are submissive out of cowering fear, you are a spineless coward, and cannot rebel against your submissiveness.  Then you are submissive to any opposition, threat, or violence.  (2) Spineless.  No backbone.  Cowardly.  (3) Effeminate.  Acts like a girl in mind, speech, gestures and body language, and dress.  Effeminate does not necessarily imply queer or spineless or sexual submissiveness.  (4) Queer.  Homosexual top or bottom.  Macho or effeminate.  (5) Wimp.  Can mean either spineless or effeminate.  (6) Faggot can mean either effeminate or queer.  ---  01/01/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Submissiveness (sexual and non-sexual) can be looked at as weak (low ethics), sick, and evil.  All three are dangerous.  ---  9/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  The dominant, in effect, brainwashes the submissive.  ---  07/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  The id wants to control (top).  The superego gives in to control (bottom).  If sex results in egolessness (the often stated desired goal state of sex is to forget yourself) then all that's left is an id and a superego (i.e., a top and bottom) sparing with each other.  Thus, it would seem that S&M is inevitable.  It is surprising more people are not into S&M.  It is surprising that S&M is not more socially acceptable.  ---  4/1/2000

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  The key to the duality of S&M is that sometimes the bottom says to the top, "Dominate me, slave".  ---  08/17/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  The type of male submissiveness that women enjoy.  Covert and unconscious on both people's parts.  Not explicit.  Having someone under their spell, in love with them.  Devotion, not obsession.  Being in control.  Teasing.  Having a boy toy that they can jerk around.  ---  11/14/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Views of S&M.  (1) Familial: The dominant as parent, the submissive as child.  (2) Military: The submissive wants to obey orders and serve like in the army.  (3) Religious: The submissive wants to worship, like worshipping a goddess.  ---  01/06/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  What causes guys to go for it?  What cause girls to go for it?  As dominant or as submissive.  Aren't power struggles present in all relationships?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  s&m.  Why are men more sexually sadistic than women?  Four possible explanations: sex, power, violence and lack of caring.  (1) Sex.  Men are biologically more horny than women (although this is debatable).  If men are hornier than women, then in general there would tend to be more men sexual sadists than women sexual sadists.  (2) Power.  Men seek power and dominance more than women.  This is a biologically evolved trait.  Sadism can be looked at as a power phenomenon.  Men are more sadistic because they are more power hungry.  (3) Violence.  Men are more violent than women.  Men biologically evolved this way through years of hunting and fighting in wars.  Sadism can be looked at as a violence phenomenon.  Men are more sadistic than women because men are more violent than women.  (4) Lack of caring.  Women are more caring and empathetic than men.  Women biologically evolved this way through years of being mothers and raising children.  Sexual sadism can be viewed as a phenomenon of lack of caring and lack of empathy.  Men are more sadistic than women because they do not have as much caring and empathy as women.  ---  8/6/1999

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Sex addiction.  (1) When is it a problem?  Wrong behavior, wrong time.  Too much/too little, out of control.  Interfering with goals.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Sex addiction.  Causes.  (1) They crave love and attention.  (2) They crave mental excitement.  (3) They crave physical pleasure.  ---  5/15/1998

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  The big question: Is pathological sex better than no sex?  And is indulging in fetishes better than never getting healthy sex?  No.  And if you spend your time, and drive on pathological sex, you reduce your chances for healthy cool women, healthy relationships, and healthy sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  The question is not only (1) Is all pathological sex ethically right or wrong?  (2) And should pathological sex be treated equally under the law, with equal rights?  The question is also (1) Why do people get off on pathological sex?  And why do they get off on pathological sex more than they get off on regular sex?  ---  09/20/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  tv.  Transvestism, causes of.  (1) Afraid of failing as man, economically, emotionally, sexually.  (2) Want to explore feminine side.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  tv.  Transvestism: two reasons pro.  (1) Experience and know how women feel.  Similar example, a recent show sends out the same person on the same job interview, once normally dressed, once dressed in "fat suit", to see how the overweight are discriminated against unjustly.  (2) It is a taboo that needs breaking.  ---  09/10/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  tv.  Transvestitism types.  (1) Rebellion.  (2) Androgynousness.  (3) Aesthetic sensuality of fine fabrics, light colors.  (4) As dissatisfaction with own sexuality.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Warped, twisted, kinky, perverted.  ---  04/23/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  When you engage in any type of fetish or pathological sex, you have essentially given up hope for real love and real sex.  ---  06/10/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Pathological.  Why do you have pathological fantasies and engage in pathological behavior?  Because you feel hopeless, despair, useless, worthless, depressed, anxious, nervous, or otherwise bad or negative about yourself or the world.  Low self esteem, lack of confidence, no faith in self or in humanity.  Also, bored, lazy, horny, obsessed, addicted, tunnel vision, one track mind, narrow minded, poor ethical self discipline, break down of reason under desire, no imagination of the good you could do, no vision, not able to say "I don't know what, but I will do something good, worthwhile, useful".  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problem approach: problem, symptoms, causes, courses, epidemiology, therapies.  Ideal state approach.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems types: physical, psychological, sociological, and environmental.  Therefore, chances of a good like/lust complex is very rare, and for it to continue through time is even rarer.  Great like lust is just not that common.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems with either an excess or lack of either sex or love.  Four combinations are possible.  (1) Excess sex.  (2) Lack of sex.  Two types.  (A) Frigid, sexually repressed.  (B) Unable to obtain sex.  (3) Excess love.  Is there such a thing as either loving someone too much, or being loved too much?  Loving someone too much can lead to a clingy dependency.  Loving someone too much can lead to obsession and stalking.  (4) Lack of love.  (A) Problems establishing intimacy with another person.  (B) Problems with social bonding in general.  ---  1/1/2006

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems with sex.  (1) People who preach that sex is dirty or unnatural.  (2) People who sexually abuse others.  (3) Sexually transmitted diseases.  (4) Unwanted pregnancy.  (5) Fundamentalists who want to make sex between consenting adults illegal, or who want to limit sexual freedom between consenting adults.  (6)  People intent on prying into your sex life in order to harass you.  People who want to invade your privacy.  People who want to publicize your sex life.  ---  10/27/2003

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems with sex.  People who think the human body is dirty, obscene, disgusting or evil.  People who think nudity is dirty, obscene, disgusting or evil.  People who think sex is dirty, obscene, disgusting or evil.  People who think specific types of sex between consenting adults is dirty, obscene, disgusting or evil.  These people can be a problem if they want to legislate against all others, or even if they just want to harass you, beat you up or kill you.  ---  12/27/2003

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems.  (1) Emotional dependency and addiction.  (2) Sexual dependency and addiction.  (3) Psychology.  (A) No drive.  (B) Repression (of mind, communication, and action).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Problems.  Too excited or not excited enough, mentally or physically.  Solutions?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Prudery or frigidity vs. nymphomania.  ---  12/29/1997

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rape.  Acquaintance rape.  Date rape.  Stranger rape.  ---  12/10/2004

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejecting those who love us vs. loving those who reject us.  Getting hot over cool situations vs. being cool about hot situations.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection is less painful when you attack and defend perfectly.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection is painful.  It becomes less painful with repetition.  You see that you shouldn't take it so hard.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection means nothing if you gave it your best shot.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection, how to handle it.  Protect and defend self.  Don't promote it in her.  Don't do it to her prematurely.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection, splitting.  Whether it works out or not, split up on good terms, act like adults.  But don't take any shit whatsoever, give back any flak they give you.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  (1) Dumper.  Do it slowly and easily.  Always make an excuse that it wasn't the dumpee, just you or your circumstances.  (2) Dumpee.  Don't go down easy, fight.  Let the dumper know you are better than they are, and better than any partner they'll ever have or even meet.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  Have a ruthless attitude when rejected.  Always as ruthless as the rejector is.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  How friendly to be: only as friendly as they are.  How unfriendly to be: as unfriendly as they are.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  Hurts worse when (1) They reject you without knowing who you are.  (2) They reject you because they think you are something else.  (3) They reject you when you are better than them.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  They reject on the basis of (1) Looks (face or body).  (2) Money, status, job, possessions.  (3) Personality, lifestyle, values.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  When it comes to convincing someone not to dump you, give it your best shot, then say "her loss".  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  When relationship is over, end it quickly and completely.  Don't let it drag on unresolved.  Complete understanding on both parts.  Ask her what she thinks, tell her what you think.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  Who dumps who, after how long, after getting how much, and how do they dump?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Rejection.  Would we have been good together?  Is the rejecter making a mistake?  Who is better than who?  Is the rejecter rejecting their better?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Sex drive must be expressed in order to be healthy.  Repressing sex drive leads to pathological psychology.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Sex excitement and sex need can so easily cloud the reasoning and distract the mind.  It takes effort to not let it do so, especially without repressing sex thoughts all together.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Sex problems.  (1) Too little: partners, frequency, or positions.  (2) Too much: orgasms, mind and behavior (resources wasted on it), too much importance and value place on it.  ---  04/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Sexual repression and sexual frustration spell disaster.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Sexual repression.  (1) Sexual repression on an individual level.  For example, some individuals are sexually repressed.  (2) Sexual repression on a cultural level.  For example, the United States, as a culture, is sexually repressed.  ---  5/15/2004

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Three nightmares.  (1) Lose girl of your dreams to another.  (2) Girl of dreams turns out to be a witch.  (3) You never meet the girl of your dreams.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Three problems: (1) Unwanted babies.  (2) Sexually transmitted disease.  (3) Sexually caused psychological damage (broken hearts).  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Total adoration (clingy) vs. never showing love (distanced).  ---  06/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality, problems.  ---  Uptight, repressed, puritanical types who want to condemn, abuse or kill people for their sexual orientation.  Who want to limit what consenting adults can do sexually.  ---  11/2/2003

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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.