Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- .This section is about interpersonal relationships involving sexuality. --- 1/24/2006
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- "Promise me this. Promise me that.", she said. Baby, I don't like promises. A promise is a contract. I don't conduct my personal relations based on business contracts. I don't stay with a person based on contractual obligation. If I stay with a lover it is because I love her. If I stay with a lover it is because my positive attitudes toward her outweighs my negative attitudes toward her. Or perhaps I feel some sort of moral obligation toward her. However, I won't stay with her based on a business contract, which is what a promise is. --- 7/7/2000
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- (1) How much can I and she feel and understand? (2) How close can I and she get to anyone, her, me? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- A relationship is like a time bomb. It is only a matter of time before it blows up in your face. --- 12/11/1998
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- All relationships are oppositional. Get what you want, don't get hurt, fight hard and smart. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- At all times people are either coming together or moving apart. It is all speed, velocity, acceleration, and duration, in order to adjust distance. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Being friends without being lovers. Being lovers without being friends. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Break ups, types of. Amicable break ups. Break ups with sadness. Break ups with anger. --- 3/7/2004
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Closeness and distance. (1) Sometimes I feel distant due to my need for privacy, my boredom with her, my neurosis, my anger, my drive for independence. (2) Sometimes I feel close to her due to my need for people, women, her, sex. Sociability, amiability and calmness due to decreased anger and neurosis. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Communication. What ask, and not, when, why? What say, and not, when, why? What do, and not, where, when, why? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Compatibility. (1) Sexual: great in bed together. (2) Social: can be seen in public together. (3) Psychology: get along with each other. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Competitiveness between lovers in a relationship. (1) Struggle for dominance. (2) Struggle to prove who is better. (3) Competition should always exist at a low friendly level in a relationship. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Compromises: degree will and won't change given any ultimatum. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Each person in relationship should ask self and other person, (1) Who are you? (2) What kind of person are you looking for? (3) What kind of relationship are you looking for? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Each person should maintain their identity and individuality. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Girls as friends not lovers. I'm not looking for friends, I'm looking for lovers. Friends is a b.s. concept, they use it to gain power, they use it out of fear, fear of rejecting. Girls just want to have friends. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- How close will you get, for how long? How close should you get? How much will you dislike them? How much time to spend with her vs. other goals? How much can you expect to understand each other? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- How much you add to your partner. How much your partner adds to you. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- How well can two people know each other? What can two people say to each other? What is there to talk about really? What is there to do? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- How well can you and should you know someone? How truly friendly can and should we be? How much time to spend together? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- In a relationship, who is more loved? Who is power holder? Who is dominant? Who is initiator? All four are not the same. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- It is not how many things you have in common, it is how few things you can't stand about each other. If there is one thing that bothers the hell out of you, it can break a relationship. If nothing is intolerable, even people with nothing in common can get along. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Non-sexual relationships of sexes. (1) Competition for lovers against same sex. (2) Standards of opposite sex. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Nothing will straighten out your head like a good relationship with a good woman. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Percent a relationship is unconsciously or consciously sexual. In either persons mind. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Perceptions yield actions, which yield perceptions etc. (1) I like her, she likes me. Life and growth spiral. Magnetic attraction. (2) I dislike her, she dislikes me. Death spiral. Magnetic repulsion. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Power aspects of like/lust. Like all relationships there is a power element to it. Equality vs. dominance and submission, control. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Predictability, old reliable. Some like the stability, others find it boring. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Relationship distance. Not being too close vs. not being too far apart. Be close but still be independent, not dependent. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Relationships are for learning. Who was she? What did I figure out while knowing her, about her, about myself, about like/lust, about women, about life? What did I figure out after, due to knowing her? --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Reveal vs. keep secrets. Honest vs. lies. Open vs. private. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Roles in relationships: healthy and pathological. Sexer, lover, nurturer, confident, catharsis. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Social aspects of like/lust relationships. Power, conflict, exchanges, respect, trust, admiration. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Social similarities and differences. Similar direction, and similar level of development, promotes like. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- The quickie relationship, spur of moment, one night stand vs. the long, getting to know you relationship. For sex or for friendship. All are necessary and good. Second is better, but try for all four. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- The relationship: treating it too seriously vs. too lightly. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Three attitudes toward relationships. (1) Looking for someone to save you. This is not optimal because it leads to total dependence. (2) Looking to save someone. This is not optimal because it leads to dictatorship. (3) Looking for a partner, a fellow independent (economically, emotionally, socially, sexually, philosophically). This is optimal. --- 4/17/2001
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Traits of good relationship: communication, honesty, trust, respect. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Types of compatibility: psychological, physical, social status, and economic. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Types. Inter-age, inter-class, and inter-race romances. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Variables. Powerholder and not. Dominant and submissive. Male and female. Aggressor and recipient. Initiator and follower. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- What brings people together? Availability, sexual compatibility, social compatibility. Much more than interests or attitudes. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- What he wants from relationship: priorities and amounts. What she wants from relationship: priorities and amounts. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- What it takes to get together: You have to meet. And have similar economic status, looks, personality, views, intelligence, values, and compatible bodies (physical types, sex diseases). It is a wonder we get together at all. --- 12/30/1992
Sociology, sexuality, relationships. --- Wild and passionate vs. stable and boring, sex and relationships. Short relationships vs. long relationships. --- 12/30/1992