Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”

Main page

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  .This section is about various other thoughts on sexuality.  Topics include: ( ) Androgeny.  ( ) Cheating.  Monogamy.  Polyamory.  ( ) Fantasy.  ( ) Homosexuality.  Bisexuality.  ( ) Pornography.  ( ) Prostitution.  ---  1/24/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Friendship and love are the same thing.  If you are true friends with someone then you love them.  This is why men and women have trouble being just friends.  (2) Sexuality is a fact of life and exists whether you are friends or enemies with a person.  You can be horny for a person you dislike.  Unfortunately.  ---  6/19/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Love: the psychological emotion.  (2) Sex: the physical behavior act.  (3) Love life vs. sex life.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Sex.  (A) Pro.  Sex is necessary for a true close relationship.  (B) Contra.  Sex is a necessary evil.  Sex is a waste of time and energy.  Sex causes crimes, disease and babies.  (2) Love.  (A) Pro.  Love is great.  (B) Contra.  Love is ok.  Love sucks (painful).  ---  02/07/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Sexual intercourse and orgasm is a trick to get you to reproduce and keep the species alive.  (2) Love is a psychological trick to keep you happy, to keep you as an individual alive.  ---  6/28/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Some people like the feeling of physical relationships, regardless of their partner.  These people are people are addicted to the physical pleasure of sex.  (2) Other people like the feeling of emotional love, regardless of who is their partner.  These people are addicted to the emotional pleasure of being in love.  ---  4/26/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) To have a chick be crazy about you.  To have a chick shower you with love and affection.  To have her attention.  To have her smile and eyes.  To have her hugs and kisses.  That is awesome.  Chicks are so cool.  (2) The counter argument is that chicks, people in general, use up a lot of time and energy, and give little in return.  ---  7/10/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) What does she want from me?  Attention.  Affection.  Appreciation.  Money?  Ring?  Baby?  House?  Car?  Sex?  Control?  Trophy?  (2) What do I want from her?  Sex.  Beauty.  Conversation.  Non-interference.  ---  4/7/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) When couples go out with other couples, it is pure competition.  See through the veneer of friendliness.  It is never fun, it is always, "lets see who is better off than who".  (2) With man and wife it is always a power struggle also, never fun.  Who can get who to do what, and how much.  Even goody two shoes, if pushed to a corner, will fight tooth and nail.  ---  08/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  (1) Why does sex feel good physically?  (A) What is the physiology of orgasm?  (B) What is the purpose in sex being physically pleasurable?  To increase reproduction?  (2) Why does sex feel good emotionally?  (A) What is the psychology of sex?  (B) What is the purpose of love?  ---  10/27/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  1000 girls meet.  100 like as friend.  10 romantic about.  1 get to fu*k.  .01 percent are love of life.  ---  12/06/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  A kiss is a lip hug, sensitive and concentrated.  ---  02/01/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  After good sex you will feel like an amoebae in space.  Total relaxation and total unawareness of self and environment.  To paraphrase Audrey.  ---  03/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Americans are both sex obsessed and sexual prudes.  Hung up and uptight.  Europeans in general are less obsessed and less prudish about sex.  Sex is more natural and beautiful to Europeans, which is a healthier attitude.  Americans think sex is dirty, and should be hidden, which is a bad attitude.  Sex should be open for public discussion.  ---  9/26/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Androgyny essay.  Androgyny is a phenomenon with many facets.  (1) Hormones and androgyny.  Hormones have an effect on the development of both mind and body.  Yet hormones are secreted in varying amounts from person to person, producing a spectrum of results.  It causes people with similarities to the opposite sex in both body shape and personality.  We have all met manly-women and womanly-men.  (2) Old age and androgyny.  In old age men secrete less testosterone and women secrete less estrogen.  The result is that in old age men and women begin to resemble each other.  (3) Childhood and androgyny.  Hormone levels rise during adolescence.  Before adolescence, during childhood, boys and girls resemble each other.  (5) Bisexuality and androgyny. Bisexuality is a separate phenomenon from androgyny.  Bisexuality is a sexual behavior.  Most androgyny is less sexually based and behaviorally based (ex. old age and childhood) and more based on physical body type and mental psychology.  ---  3/24/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Androgyny, today on the Orpha show.  (Orpha speaking to audience)  Audience, when you are in a restaurant, and you see an androgynous couple seated next to you, does it bother you?  (Audience grumbles).  When you see the man run his disconcertingly slender fingers across the woman's disconcertingly athletic arms, how does it make you feel?  (Audience yells, whistles, etc.)  Today on Orpha, we will explore the unsettling, yet strangely compelling, and completely legal topic of "Mannish Women and the Feminine Men Who Love Them".  (Audience cheers).  ---  8/13/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Androgyny, two types of. (1) Combining the worst traits of man and the worst traits of women in a single individual.  (2) Combining the best traits of men and the best traits of women in a single individual.  ---  1/24/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Androgyny.  The sexual ideal is in the center.  Tom-girl and Jane-boy.  The problem is that people think the sexual ideal is at the extremes (macho-man and fem-woman), not the center.  One has to consider above categories in terms of mind set, as well as physical appearance.  ---  04/24/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Arguments against love-sex.  (1) Love-sex is a waste of time and energy.  Maintaining a relationship with a lover is only slightly less time consuming than raising kids.  (2) Love-sex has a tendency to make people emotional wrecks, if not drive people crazy.  (3) Disease is rampant.  (4) Unwanted pregnancy.  ---  6/6/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Audrey and me making love in middle of night, both half awake in a dream state, and both thinking we are with another person.  Is this love?  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Before.  How can she be so beautiful?  How can she be so smart?  How can I meet her?  What will I say to her?  Here I go.  A conversation ensues.  Afterwords.  How can she be so shallow?  How can she be so unappealing?  What was I thinking?  How do two people fall in love with each other anyway?  It must be two very calm and amiable people who fell in love.  Find those two lovers and study them in a lab until their secrets are uncovered.  ---  1/12/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Being or having an inexperienced vs. experienced lover.  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Bored with love and sex.  (1) When do you become bored with sex?  (A) When you cease to learn from it?  (B) When you cease to desire it?  (C) When you cease to get pleasure from it?  (2) When do you become bored with love?  (A) When you cease to learn from it?  (B) When you cease to desire it?  (C) When you have had enough of it?  (3) When do you become bored with people?  (A) When they cease to inspire, enlighten or entertain you?  (4) What is the most you can get from another person?  (A) To learn from them?  (B) To talk with them?  (C) To be with them?  ---  9/30/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Bored with sex.  At what point will you become bored with sex?  Not curious about love, sex or other people's bodies and minds.  No desire.  Think you've seen it all, done it all, know it all.  ---  5/4/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  (1) If you can cheat on your girl emotionally (without any physical contact), then it should be possible to have close physical contact without emotion and say it is not cheating?  (2) Cheating by a series of one night stands with different women vs. cheating as one long term close emotional relationship with another woman.  Which is worse?  The second seems worse.  ---  02/09/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  At what point does cheating occur?  Is there a difference between cheating on a wife vs. cheating on a live-in lover, vs. cheating on a long or short term girlfriend?  Is a two timer a cheat?  Emotional cheating is where you are investing all your time and emotional energy in another person other than your girlfriend or wife.  Physical cheating is when you are hugging (?), kissing (?), getting naked with (?), fu*king (?), another woman than your wife or girlfriend.  Which is worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating?  ---  02/09/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Can I be friends with a woman while I have a girlfriend, without it being considered cheating on my girlfriend?  That is, can it be considered cheating just on the basis of time spent and emotional investment made?  ---  12/29/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Emotional cheating.  Flirting with, looking at, and even thinking of other women.  Any time you invest emotional energy in another woman besides your girlfriend you are committing emotional adultery.  Then you unconsciously get guilty, then you unconsciously punish yourself to get out of the guilt.  Do yourself a favor and avoid it completely.  ---  07/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Extra-marital or extra-relationship sex is natural.  You keep looking for better.  Otherwise animosity builds up towards your mate.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Flirting with another woman, or even fantasizing of another woman, can make one feel guilty, and then turn self destructive.  ---  07/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  If you are spending more time with another woman than your girlfriend, is that cheating?  Hugging, kissing, mutual masturbation, fu*king, what is permissible without it being cheating?  ---  01/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Lying, cheating and stealing.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Monogamy is bogus.  Serial monogamy is bogus.  Multiple sex partners is natural.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Most women who cheat do so only when they believe that (1) The man loves them and (2) The man no longer loves their wife.  Few women cheat if either of the above is not the case.  ---  6/2/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Polygamy vs. monogamy (lifetime monogamy, or serial monogamy).  Pros and cons of each.  Percent in population of each.  Everyone is always looking for something better, and should.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Cheating.  Who says its cheating?  Two people can agree to have an open relationship in which they agree that its fine to see other people.  There are two types of open relationships.  Firstly, where the two partners both agree to see other people and agree to inform each other as to who they are seeing and what is going on.  Secondly, where the two partners agree to see other people and agree not to inform each other as to who they are seeing and what is going on.  ---  10/26/2003

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Common unethical courting strategy.  They come on strong to a stranger.  They drop that person just as fast when they find out they are not compatible.  This is not the nicest way of doing things.  ---  9/18/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Computer.  The computer has changed the way we look at sexuality.  (1) Online love affairs.  Online sex.  Online cheating.  (2) Gender is chooseable online.  (3) Anonymous online sex.  (4) Romance online is based on how well you speak or type, not how good you look.  ---  3/9/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Critiques of sex.  (1) Sex, the physical act, tires one out physically and thus mentally.  No energy, no gumption.  (2) Sex, the physical act, can become all one thinks about.  Sex can occupy one's entire mental life.  (3) Sex, the physical act, can become all one does all day.  (4) Even love, the emotional bond, can become overwhelming if all one does all day is think about the other person or spend time with the other person.  ---  9/11/2005

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Deprivation: no like/lust, what a waste of potential.  For physical sex pleasure, for psychological development, and for psychological creation.  And how it warped my mind too.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Desire, horniness and drive, both psychological desire and physical itch (hard guys and wet girls).  This is what youth has in spades.  Both young and old can have physical sex.  Both young and old need emotional love.  But what the young have that the old do not is a high level of horniness.  The urge that "If I don't get laid tonight I am going to explode."  ---  5/20/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Desire.  The burning desire that drives me crazy and makes me feel weak all over.  How bad does it get (not very bad?).  How much better it is than feeling nothing.  This urge to look, touch, hear, taste, smell, every time I see a woman.  Fantasies run through my mind.  So alive I feel, I want it to last forever.  This is definitely a good pain, destroyed so quickly by one come.  ---  06/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Different views on (1) What is love?  (2) How to show someone you love them?  (3) What is healthy sex?  (4) What proper roles of sexes are.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Do I want a (1) Loyal, loving, earth child, prole, haus frau, or an (2) Angry, bitch, sophisticate.  ---  04/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Don't flip your head over a dame.  They are meant to make you more productive and happy, not less productive and happy.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Elements in like/lust and ways they can vary for better or worse.  Trust.  Respect.  Communication: open and sharing, honest.  Physical intimacy, and psychological intimacy.  Many shared likes, and few unshared dislikes?  Low neurosis.  Many strong likes of each other, and few minor dislikes.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Elements.  (1) Drive: horny vs. not horny.  (2) Emotion: loving vs. unloving.  (3) Behavior: easy vs. prude.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  (1) Any fantasy (enduring mental pleasure) feels better than masturbation (momentary physical pleasure).  (2) Pathological mental fantasies are more satisfying than any pathological behavior.  (3) Any healthy behavior is more satisfying than any (healthy or pathological) fantasy.  ---  10/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  Dream girl.  The ideal is what keeps us going.  ---  5/30/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  My current sexual fantasy: getting a woman to sign a pre-nuptial contract.  ---  02/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  My latest fantasy: one good relationship.  ---  01/24/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  Two types of fantasies.  (1) Sex fantasy.  (A) Partner does anything you want to do sexually.  (B) You do what your partner wants to do sexually.  (2) Love fantasy.  (A) Partner is madly in love with you.  (B) You are madly in love with your partner.  ---  10/4/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  Various fantasies.  (1) Seduce every young beautiful healthy virgin.  A fantasy of power.  (2) Being seduced by an older, more experienced woman.  A fantasy of powerlessness.  (3) Nonstop sex with many women.  ---  12/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  What causes us to have one fantasy during one sexual episode and another fantasy during the next sexual episode of a similar type?  Should we not have the same fantasy?  ---  10/22/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  What kind of fantasies/desires you have vs. what you really like in actuality.  Didn't turn me on as much as I thought it would vs. turned me on more than I thought it did.  This is why you should try everything once.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Fantasy.  You can have sexual fantasies about anything at any time.  It does not correlate to anything.  You might as well pick a healthy fantasy.  ---  7/1/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Find the hip, smart, pretty one.  ---  09/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Flirting, positive and negative views of.  (1) Flirting as play.  Let yourself pretend.  Like when you were a kid and played either "cowboys and indians" or "house".  (2) Flirting as role playing, like in the theater.  This can let us explore alternate roles and then choose one for real life.  This can let us explore fantasies, that we will not choose for real life.  This can let us explore and develop dreams and ideals which we can hold onto, if we choose, to guide us in life.  (3) Flirting as lying.  Many people criticize flirting as outright lying or misrepresentation.  However, that is a polarized view of flirting.  Just as movie acting is a type of professional lying that is used to convey a truth of art, so to flirting is sometimes a type of lying to reveal truth.  On the other hand, sometimes flirting actually is malevolent lying.  (4) Flirting as teasing and torment.  It all depends on what degree you are comfortable with.  Some people like a lot.  Some people don't like any.  ---  8/5/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  For each guy there are three kinds of women.  (1) Will approach you, pursue you, minimal effort to scoop, will take abuse, will forgive mistakes by you.  (2) Will never fall for you no matter how much and how well you pursue them.  (3) Women who will cave in if you make all the right moves (in-between 1 and 2).  ---  09/23/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Functions of (1) Friends: nurturer, confidant, catharsis, non-disser.  To give to, and to receive from.  (2) Lover: to receive love from, and to give love to.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Game players.  What are the games?  (1) Making you love me even though I do not care about you.  (2) Manipulating you.  Seeing how much money and emotion I can wring from you.  ---  9/22/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Good sex builds up slowly, and loses control completely.  To paraphrase Audrey.  ---  04/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Good sex is working past the kink to healthy epiphanies.  Good sex makes you and your lover feel like Romeo and Juliet.  Like your first love, and like your first time having sex.  ---  04/15/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  History of sex.  Great fu*kers of all time.  (1) Based on most people fu*ked.  Without forcing them (slaves are ruled out).  Without deceit or lying to them.  Without third part arranging it (rules out most porn flicks).  Without paying for it (ruling out prostitutes).  (2) Highest frequency of sex, and for longest duration in years.  (3) Most ways fu*ked (kama sutra), and strangest acts (kink), and most physical environments where did it.  (4) Ethical outcome.  Most love given vs. most despair caused.  ---  01/11/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homophobia.  If man X feels that he is justified in beating up man Y if man Y flirts with man X, then it follows that man X should feel comfortable being beaten up by woman Z if man X flirts with woman Z.  ---  2/3/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality was once viewed as a mental illness, a criminal act, and a religious sin.  These are all pathological viewpoints.  ---  9/23/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality.  Some people mistakenly try to deny the existence of bisexuality.  They mistakenly say that anyone who claims to be bisexual is actually homosexual.  The actuality is that everyone is bisexual to some degree.  ---  9/26/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  (1) Love is not wrong.  Physical expression of love is not wrong (hugs, kisses).  Aesthetic appreciation of physical bodies is not wrong.  (2) Mindless promiscuity is wrong among homosexuals as well as among heterosexuals.  Unsafe sex is wrong among homosexuals as well as among heterosexuals.  Sex without love is wrong among homosexuals as well as among heterosexuals.  (3) Two guys or two girls living together is not wrong.  Two people caring for each other and supporting each other is not wrong.  (4) Gender swapping and androgyny are not wrong.  (5) Hate, bias, and violence are wrong.  ---  11/30/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  (1) People are bisexual.  They have bisexual thoughts.  (2) People experiment with homosexual behavior naturally.  (3) People have close friendships with members of the same sex.  Sometimes these friendships are so strong that we call them love, even though there is no physical intimacy.  It is good to have close friendships (love) with the same sex, even if it is not sexual. (4) Homosexual thinkers, experimenters, and close friends should not be persecuted socially or legally.  They should not be burned like witches.  ---  07/18/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Lesbians.  Another reason men like lesbians: The "two for the price of one" theory.  Twice as many women.  Its more economical.  A remnant of buying pornography.  ---  11/18/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Lesbians.  Theories on why men are attracted to lesbians: (1) Any Gal is Fine Theory: Men are attracted to women in general, be they lesbians or not.  (2) Lure of the Unobtainable Theory: You always want what you can't have.  The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  (3) Male Lesbian Theory: Men who are attracted to lesbians have an unconscious desire to reveal their feminine side.  (4) Ultimate Seduction Theory: Lesbians are the ultimate challenge for a man's seduction skills.  He figures if he can seduce a lesbian, he can seduce any woman.  (5) Safe Relationship Theory: Sex with lesbians is a theoretical impossibility, and so a lesbian friend is safe for men who are uncomfortable or scared of sex.  There is a similar situation of women who are attracted to queer males.  (6) One of the Guys Theory: The butch or tomboy lesbian has manly physical and psychological traits that are appreciated by men.  This is similar to the phenomenon of women who get friendly with queer guys because the queer guy acts "just like one of the girls".  ---  7/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Metaphysical status of homosexuality.  Sexuality is a spectrum, not black and white.  Each person is an individual case.  Many people have homosexual fantasies.  Many people experiment with homosexuality early in life.  People switch back and forth from heterosexuality to homosexuality in life.  People are bisexual, heterosexual and homosexual at the same time.  ---  07/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Past treatment of homosexuals.  They jailed Allan Turing, who subsequently died prematurely.  They jailed Oscar Wilde, who subsequently died prematurely.  ---  3/24/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Rates of "out of the closet" homosexuality and bisexuality would be higher if homosexuals were not harassed, beaten and killed.  ---  3/23/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  The hate against homosexuals, especially by religious groups, is wrong.  ---  11/30/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  There is evidence of homosexuality in animals.  Is homosexuality a useful social tool in the animal kingdom?  ---  5/21/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Homosexuality.  Wrong views: Persecution and discrimination against gays.  Laws outlawing homosexuality.  Those who believe the divine is against gays.  ---  07/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  How important is love/sex?  Two basic views.  PART ONE. Views in favor of love/sex.  (1) "All you need is love.", sez McCartney/Lennon.  (2) Love/sex helps turn young potential psychopaths into civilized gentlemen.  (3) Everyone needs love and sex.  PART TWO. Critiques of love/sex.  (1) Love/sex is overrated.  You cannot live on love/sex.  Love/sex does not pay the bills.  Love/sex does not put food on the table.  (2) Love and sex are not necessities.  There are more important things in life than love and sex.  ---  5/10/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Hypnosis.  (1) The hypnotic state is also close to the addictive state.  (2) Hypnosis is also related to habit.  Hypnosis and behavioral habits.  Hypnosis and mental habits.  (3) Unconscious self hypnosis.  ---  5/30/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Hypnosis.  (1) To what extent is seduction of another dependent on hypnosis?  (2) To what extent is arousal of self dependent upon entering a hypnotic state?  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Hypnosis.  Spellbound or spell casting, mesmerized, hypnotized, seduction, entranced.  To fall prey to it, or to cast it on others.  ---  4/12/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Hypnosis.  Women are entrancing, mesmerizing, hypnotic.  Not a good state to be in.  It is close to addiction.  It also lets others control you easily.  It is close to submission and masochism.  You get hurt easily.  ---  06/10/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  I am happy knowing that she is alive.  The thought of her calms me down.  She relieves an existential tension that I carry always and do not even notice anymore until it is gone.  She also inspires me, and she makes me feel young again.  Find your equal and she will bring you peace and happiness.  ---  08/17/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  I don't expect to get that much from women and people (like new ideas).  But the little I do get is very important.  I don't expect them to give me that little bit I need from them.  I will have to wheedle or charm it out of them.  A look at her, a glance back, a word, a laugh.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  I need to chase women to be more creative.  ---  09/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  I want a woman who does not want anything from me.  No family, friends, being taken out, spending money, or having kids.  I want a low maintenance woman.  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  I want more women throwing themselves at me, body and soul.  ---  09/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Ideally you want a woman you can learn from, but you will settle for a woman who doesn't cramp your style.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  If my affection for women is so great as to border on worship, in the romantic sense, in the spiritual sense, and in the kinky s&m sense, so much the better.  Ever so much, more so.  ---  06/10/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  If you can't get laid in NY, you can't get laid.  Conversely, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.  ---  09/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Imagine the difference between people with the following sexual experiences: (1) A person who only had phone sex.  (2) A person who only had sex with a doll.  (3) A person who's partner never allowed intercourse.  (4) A person who never had an orgasm.  (5) A person who never had someone they loved and never had someone who loved them back.  (6) A person who only had safe sex with bodies separated by thin latex membrane.  (7) How would these people differ from the average?  ---  7/6/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  In a relationship between lovers, at what point will the two of you makeout or neck for the first time?  At what point will the two of you f*ck for the first time?  Everything after the first kiss and the first f*ck is anti-climactic (pun).  ---  6/24/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  In New York City in the 1990s, the first thing you have to do when you meet someone is (1) Determine the sex they were born with, male or female.  (2) Determine their present sex, male or female.  (3) Determine their gender, masculine or feminine.  (4) Determine if they are attracted to men or women.  (5) Determine if they are attracted to masculine or feminine men, or masculine or feminine women.  ---  11/30/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  In the heat of passion, people lose control mentally and physically.  That's why sex works.  That's why the human species is still alive.  ---  9/30/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Is it preferable to be a man or a woman?  One way to tell is to see how many sex change operations there are male to female vs. female to male.  There are more male to female sex changes.  So it would appear it is better to be a woman.  ---  3/16/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Is true love without sex better than sex without true love?  ---  10/10/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Life comes down to desperate competition for women, and money/stuff.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Like and lust, quantity and quality, received and gave.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Like and lust: get both even if you have to get them separate.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Like and lust.  To develop either toward a person vs. to lose either toward a person.  To receive either from another person vs. to lose either from another person.  By degree, to the point of joining or splitting.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Like.  (1) Similar direction (goals and values).  (2) Similar level of development.  (3) Similar likes and dislikes, interests and disinterests.  (4) There's a certain point where you'll say: Yes, friend vs. no, foe vs. no, above or below or different from me.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Like/lust.  Get what you need.  Keep your priorities (job, Notes, woman).  Don't let it decay or lose your thoughts and emotions.  Be rational about your drives and emotions.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Look at it from the other side.  She finds me interesting.  She is attracted to me.  She likes me.  There is something about me that tickles her fancy.  I embody her ideals.  She has pinned her hopes upon me.  I have become her dream bank.  She thinks of me constantly.  She always wants to call me.  I am her endorphin rush.  I am her scratching post.  ---  1/12/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Looking for someone who will (1) Tolerate me, or even better likes me, or even better loves me.  (2) Understands me.  Knows what I mean.  (3) Appreciates me.  Sees value in what I say.  Agrees with me.  (4) Co-conspires with me.  Plays along with me.  Co-writes with me.  An equal.  A blood-brother sister.  ---  11/20/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Love and sex.  (1) Sex is two people jerking each other off without using their hands.  (2) Love is two people trying to rationalize their addiction to sex.  ---  12/23/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Love and work.     (1) Freud said the two most important things in life are love and work.  I say that by comparing work and love we can shed light on both.  And, only half facetiously, having compared work and love we are in a position to combine the concepts of work and love into a type of Grand Unified Theory (GUT) or Theory of Everything (TOE).     (2) Work and love are similar in that work and love both involve people spending a lot of time together, through good times and bad.     (3) There are several phases of work and love that are analogous.     (A) Searching for a job is analogous to searching for a lover.  You might have to read a thousand help-wanted ads (or see a thousand people in singles bars), and send out hundreds of resumes (say hundreds of pickup lines), and go on tens of interviews (dates) just to get one job (lover).     (B) Moonlighting on a job is analogous to cheating on a lover.  Is moonlighting wrong?  Some people say no, some say yes.  Is cheating wrong?  Some say no, some say yes.     (C) Lifetime employment at the same job is analogous to lifetime monogamy.  Lifetime employment was more prevalent in the 1900's than it is today.  Lifetime monogamy was more prevalent in the 1900's than it is today.  If you ask people if lifetime employment and lifetime monogamy are good or bad some people say good and some people say bad.     (D) Leaving a job (either quitting or being fired) is analogous to breaking up with a lover (either rejecting them or being rejected by them).  In addition, in work and love, you can leave on good terms with mutual respect or you can leave on bad terms.     (E) In their teens and early twenties, people often go through similar stages in work and love.  In love this stage is called "dating" and involves a series of short relationships to familiarize oneself with various types of members of the opposite sex.  In work there is an analogous situation where a person holds a series of short-term jobs at the start of their work career in order to familiarize themselves with the various types of jobs in the work world.  Call it "job dating".     (F)(i) Temp work (i.e., short-term work) is analogous to short-term love relationships.  (ii) Part-time work (i.e., working only a few days a week) is analogous to love relationships in which the participants live far apart and only get to visit each other on weekends.     (G) Prostitution occurs in the world of work just as often as it occurs in the world of love.  Prostitution in the world of work is worse than prostitution in the world of love because in the world or work you are selling your body and your mind for a dollar.  Prostitution in the world of love involves selling only the body for a dollar.  (One must say that the body and mind tend to travel together, though.)     (4) Some people will read this piece and say, "Don't degrade love by comparing it to work".  Baloney.  The more you know about work and love, and the similarities between them, the better off you will be.  ---  6/30/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Love letter from a philosopher:  (1) I love you.  I have always loved you.  I always will love you.  (2) I love only you.  I have always loved only you.  I always will love only you.  (3) I have nothing but love for you.  I have always had nothing but love for you.  I always will have nothing but love for you.  ---  6/1/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Masturbation.  For some pathological types masturbation is something they want to catch other people doing.  ---  12/14/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Masturbation.  Isn't it about time that we come to grips with the subject of masturbation?  (pun).  ---  8/20/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Most important ideas about sex.  (1) How short the season (15 - 35).  (2) How important to get laid early and often.  (3) How important to keep searching for ultimate woman.  ---  03/23/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Most lame women want men who are sensitive, non-threatening, subservient, attentive, friendly, do anything they say, never rebellious loud angry demanding or power hungry, yet not a female, well dressed and groomed, civilized.  ---  09/26/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Old view: the girl next door will be the love of my life.  New view: I am searching high and low to find someone I can stand.  ---  10/05/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Once you get excited, can you get unexcited?  Physically and mentally, is there a point of no return?  ---  12/12/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  One aspect of childhood is being unconcerned with sex.  One aspect of adulthood is being almost obsessed with sex.  This obsession can be looked at as a joy or burden by the same individual at various times.  The above unconcern can be looked at as a joy or cursed as well.  There is a certain joy at times in forgetting about sex, and taking a sexless childlike view of the world.  There is a certain joy in reveling in sexuality and sex (viva la difference!).  At other times either view can be inappropriate or uncomfortable.  ---  10/25/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  One fu*k is worth 100 masturbations.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Opportunity.  You only get x chances with x women in this life.  A chance is an opportunity for success.  A blown chance is a failure.  A chance utilized is a success.  A chance utilized that pays off is a double success.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Paul's law of love.  Everyone should have a really good mutual like/lust relationship at least once in their life, preferably early on.  That they are deprived of this is natural injustice.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  People tend to use fantasizing about sex as a pleasurable way of avoiding the issues at hand; although sex is actually an issue to.  How much fantasizing about sex, or even thinking critically about sex, is too much?  Think about it when pursuing women, and only then.  Too much vs. too little.  Repression vs. obsession.  ---  04/01/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Personal ad.  Atheist, Socialist, Intellectual.  Vegetarian.  Activist.  No to marriage and kids.  Yes to companionship and conversation.  Seeking same.  ---  2/4/2005

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Porn can be visual pictures or porn can be verbal literature.  Porn can be softcore nudes or hardcore explicit sex.  Women prefer literary softcore porn (ex. romance novels) and men prefer visual hardcore porn (ex. girlie mags).  ---  7/6/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Pornography.  (1) Arguments against porn.  (A) Debases women.  (B) Excites men to the point they freak out, resulting in (i) Perverts, (ii) Jerking off, (iii) Sex crimes like rape, child molestation, obscene phone calls, etc.  (C) Gives men false ideas of the reality of love and sex.     (2) Arguments pro porn.  (A) It can give a knowledge of the female body in terms of anatomy, and also in terms of aesthetics and beauty, and also in terms of knowledge of sex.  It can inspire those who need general inspiration and sexual inspiration.  (3) My position.  I am not against nudity.  I think it is beautiful and unrepressed.  But I am against too much nudity, too often, in too many (public) places.  It should be something you choose to see, not are forced to see.  ---  04/26/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Pornography.  (1) Pro: it is beautiful, it is a part of life.  (2) Contra: it distorts, it is too powerful.  (3) Visual vs. verbal pornography.  (4) Art vs. porn arguments.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Pornography.  Arguments for pornography.  (1) Nudity is beautiful and sex is beautiful.  (2) Whether verbal or visual, depictions of nudity, depictions of sex, and depictions of so-called obscenity, are protected by our freedom of speech, and (I say) protected by our freedom to information.  (3) (A) There is no such thing as obscenity when it comes to consensual acts between adults.  (B) There's no such thing as curse words or obscene language (or art).  Vagina or pussy, a rose is a rose.  (4) Andrea Dworkin and Katherine McKinnon seem to argue that pornography, and the sex business in general, exploits women.  But in today's world we can say that if so, then it exploits men just as well.  It does not really exploit either if done correctly.  ---  9/24/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Pornography.  Nowadays pornography does the useful service of making women realize that they are attractive no matter what their body type.  Pornography today depicts young women, old women, flat chests, huge chests, fat women, thin women, hairy women, and every skin color.  ---  9/24/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Pornography.  Some possible reasons why people get into porn or prostitution.  (1) The money.  (2) They have great bodies.  (3) They enjoy sex, or are addicted to sex (or love?).  (4) They feel they are bad or worthless.  Low self esteem.  (5) Submissive or dominant.  (6) Rebellious.  Want to break social taboos, regardless of whether themselves or the taboos are right or wrong.  "No one can tell me what to do."  (7) Believe philosophically in nudity, free sex, etc.  ---  06/01/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Post-coital oceania: I am the entire United States, and the entire United States is at peace.  ---  7/11/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution for single men is different from prostitution for married man because when you are married there is the additional aspect of cheating on your mate.  ---  9/24/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution.  (1) At its best.  (A) Helps sexworker: makes money for her.  (B) Helps client: lays the unlayable, keeps him happy, sane, keeps him from killing others.  (2) At its worst.  (A) Harms sexworker: abuse by client, disease, and the act itself can lower their self esteem.  (B) Harms client: disease.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution.  (1) Pros of ho's. (A) It is the right of people to get laid.  (B) A lot of jobs besides prostitution don't develop the mind.  (C) Athletes have short careers as well as beautiful girls.  (2) Contra prostitution.  (A) It is also the right (duty?) of women and men to take care of themselves and reach their full potential.  Having sex all day doesn't really do this.  You have to battle against disease, drugs, social stigma, and the low self esteem and hopelessness the sex industry engenders.  ---  12/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution.  (1) Prostitution and shrinks are the only two occupations where money is paid to have a person present.  They both charge about $200 an hour.  I guess that is one way to determine what a human is worth.  If you say to yourself "I could really use someone to be with and talk to, right now.", the only two options are shrink and prostitute.  The shrink requires you to make an appointment and go to an office.  The prostitute shows up at your place right away.  There should really be another profession that is an instant outcall person on demand to talk to, without the sex.  This is an important need in society.  It could save much suffering and violence.  (2) Not enough love is given or received by people in this world.  People need love bad, and don't even realize it.  And there is a short supply of love.  There is not enough to go around.  There is not enough love supplied as there is a demand for it.  (3) I am not talking about possessive love, where you love the person like a pet you own, and for the pleasure they give you.  I am talking about non-possessive love, where you love the person even though you consider them free of you, and you give them the pleasure.  (4) Fu*king is often a power thing.  To fu*k something is to dominate it, to be in control of it, to take possession of it and own it.  Males use fu*king as a power thing over females.  I am speaking of sex as a nurturing, caring, giving thing.  (See feminine ethics.)  (5) People need love.  And people need sex.  (A) Can you give love in one hour to a stranger?  I say yes.  Can you give sex in one hour to a stranger.  Obviously yes.  (B) Do prostitutes give love?  I say, in the best situations, yes.  Do prostitutes give sex?  Obviously yes.  (C) Are prostitutes asked by johns to give love?  I say, in most cases no, in a few cases yes.  Are prostitutes asked to give sex?  Obviously yes.  If prostitutes can give love, is it a genuine love or just a fake love?  (6) Some prostitutes and johns look at it as a business, for money, strictly an economic transaction.  Do either ever look at it as more?  What do they see it as?  (7) Can one get or give love without sex, for free or for money?  Where and how?  ---  02/09/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution.  Not only should prostitution be legalized, but sex workers should also be accepted as important and useful members of society.  ---  12/26/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Prostitution.  Worldwide sex industry.  (1) Rampant disease, including AIDS.  (2) Women kept as sexual slaves against their will.  (3) Children sexually abused.  (4) Must it be this way?  Can prostitution be done right?  Like in Holland?  (5) Should prostitution be illegal or legalized?  Will legalization of prostitution increase, decrease, or have no effect on the above crimes?  (6) Phone sex is legal and good.  Live Internet video sex is good too.  ---  9/24/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Purely emotional or intellectual love vs. purely physical sex.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Related areas.  (1) Effects of all aspects of sexuality on rest of your life.  Effects on work: increase, decrease.  (2) Effects of other areas of life on like lust.  Effects of work: decreases sex drive.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Related areas.  Relationships to other subject areas, effects of and on.  (1) Politics: women in power (how many, how much power).  (2) Law: laws saying what sex acts are legal and illegal.  Female rights, porn, obscenity, sex crimes.  (3) Economics: sex sells, what, why.  Advertising.  How resources spent on sex influence economic output.  (4) Technology: techniques to solve problems or enhance abilities.  Toys, and psychological techniques.  (5) Religion: specific religious attitudes about sex through history, and changes of.  (6) Arts: sex in the arts, legal limits.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Related areas.  You can get sex right and the rest of your life wrong vs. you can get sex wrong and the rest of your life right.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Self control.  (1) Control of self in love and sex.  Control of others in love and sex.  This is S&M in everyday life.  Controlling others completely is topping.  Giving up all self control is what a bottom does.  ---  11/20/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Self control.  (1) One loses control during the sex act.  The good thing about sex is that for once you can completely lose control.  (2) One also loses a degree of self control when you allow someone into your life.  Love, not just sex, involves a loss of self control.  However, you also gain a degree of control over the other person, which I suppose some people like and perhaps even abuse.  (3) Love and sex are full of control issues.  ---  11/20/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Self control.  Like/lust.  (1) Being in control.  (2) Being out of control.  It is fun, maybe even necessary for true love, but it leaves you wide open to abuse.  (3) In health and unhealth.  (4) When to lose control, if ever?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Self control.  People lose control during sex and have babies, catch diseases, injure self, cheat on loved ones, and engage in perversions.  Sex is a powerful thing, making us lose control like that.  ---  8/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Self control.  Two extremes of falling in love.  Some people will not let themselves fall in love due to having excessive self control in the realm of love.  Some people can't help falling in love due to having no self control in the realm of love.  Yet, to some degree, falling in love should be beyond your control, automatic and irresistible.  ---  11/20/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex cannot be a lifestyle focus for the same reasons that drugs cannot be a lifestyle focus.  (1) It is addictive.  (2) It is not productive.  (3) It wears you out.  ---  10/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex is a waste of time.  Love is only slightly less so.  ---  10/30/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex is overrated.  Love is overrated.  Love/sex is temporary, transitory, fleeting.  Working towards goals based on principles is more important than love/sex.  ---  12/2/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex with no thoughts running through your head.  Sex with no emotions running through your head.  Sex with no memories running through your head.  Some people will argue that the best sex is mindless, animal-like sex, when you experience only physical pleasure with a minimum of mental involvement.  Other people will argue that sex is best when accompanied by love, and that love is a complex psychological phenomenon comprised of many subtle emotions, thoughts and memories.  Still other people argue that both types of love making are good.  One should experience a variety of sexual experiences.  ---  5/14/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex, definitions of.  There are many ways that people attempt to define sex.  (1) Sex as coitus or intercourse.  (2) Sex as genital contact between two people, even without coitus, and even without orgasm.  (3) Sex as achieving orgasm, which can be done alone, theoretically.  ---  9/11/2005

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex, love and friendship are necessary for emotional well being and mental health.  They should all be easily available and affordable.  Sex, love and friendship are a human right.  ---  5/10/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sex/love: the interaction of physical, psychological, behavior, and social factors on each other.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sexual revolution, three definitions of.  (1) Sexual revolution defined as people having more sex.  This definition is not that big a deal.  (2) Sexual revolution defined as people talking about sex openly.  People talking about sex as couples.  Discussion of sex in public seminars.  Discussion of sex in the media (books, magazines, newspapers, television, radio, Internet).  This definition is a very good thing.  (3) Sexual revolution defined as women's rights and homosexual rights.  This definition is a very good thing.  ---  5/8/1999

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sexual segregation.  It can be argued that gender segregated youth activities, gender segregated schools, and gender segregated religious orders are sexual perversions because they have no members of the opposite sex.  ---  07/22/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sexually transmitted diseases.  (1) People often do not know what sexually transmitted diseases they have.  Often a person has an STD but does not know they have it and thus transmits the disease to another person unknowingly.  (2) People are often reluctant to talk about any sexually transmitted diseases they have.  People are often not forthcoming about their STDS and thus may transmit it to another person out of lack of communication.  (3) People sometimes lie about what sexually transmitted diseases they have.  People sometimes say they have no STDs when they know they do.  ---  6/17/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sexually transmitted diseases.  People are full of germs.  Sex should be referred to as "the germ swap".  He gave his germs to her.  She gave her germs to him.  ---  5/5/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sexually transmitted diseases.  There are a multitude of sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, hepatitis, warts, and herpes simplex 2, that are incurable for life, and that can be transmitted asymptomatically without one being aware of it.  What a nightmare.  How can one safely have sex today?  It is unethical to ignore the problem.  Individuals should get tested for all STDs at the beginning of a relationship.  Some people choose to always use a condom.  Meanwhile, the emotion of love has a tendency to disable the reasoning part of the brain.  Love, desire, and sexual urgency, tend to make people less cautious, more spontaneous, more risky.  Its a recipe for potential disaster.  ---  6/17/2007  ---  *

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  She and I once made love.  (One can synonymously read the word "once" as "used to" or "in the past".)  (1) What did our lovemaking mean then?  What did it mean then to her?  What did it mean then to me?  (2) What does the fact that we once made love mean now?  What does it mean to her now?  What does it mean to me now?  (3) We cared about each other.  We cared for each other.  We took care of each other.  (4) What happened to that?  What happened was that some people's annoying traits began to outweigh their attractive traits.  And yet we are still friends.  (5) Some people make love and it means very little in their minds.  Other people make love and it means a lot in their mind.  Can we say that sometimes making love means too little to some people, and that is not good; while other times making love means too much to other people, and that is not good either?  You do not want to make more of love/sex than it actually is.  You do not want to make less of love/sex than it actually is.  (6)(A) What does love mean?  What can love mean?  (B) What does sex mean?  What can sex mean?  (C) What can two people mean to each other?  How much can two people mean to each other?  (D) These are the voyages of the relationship enterprise.  ---  11/13/2005

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  She said she loved me, over and over again.  She begged me not to leave her, over and over again.  That is all that she said.  And that is why I left her.  ---  1/12/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Six mistaken ways to experience sex.  (1) To experience sex only on a sensual level is to be a hedonist (or an animal).  (2) To experience sex only as emotion is to be a romantic.  (3) To experience sex only as thought or logic is to be an academic.  (4) To experience sex with sense and emotion only (1&2) is to be thoughtless.  (5) To experience sex with sense and thought only (1&3) is to be an emotionless sociopath.  (6) To experience sex with only emotion and thought (2&3) is to be a senseless, disembodied virgin.  (7) To experience sex with senses, emotions, and thought (1,2&3) is to do it justice.  Give it all you got.  ---  3/3/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Social influence on sex.  Social taboos: how close they are to health and justice.  Paranoia and abuse of those who break social taboos.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Software to mimic social interactions, to be used for training the socially inept.  For example, a "How to pick up women" training software that presents a number of different virtual women standing at a virtual bar who respond better or worse to different pickup lines.  ---  8/5/2001

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Some view sex and love as something you have to earn.  If they give you either they're doing you a favor.  It is conditional love (bogus), it is a reward.  They make you beg for it.  This view is bull shit.  I won't be controlled by it.  I'd rather not have it.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Sometimes I feel like I am talking directly to her vagina.  Sometimes she feels like she is talking directly to my dick.  Sometimes our relationship consists merely of a conversation between our genitals.  ---  9/24/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Swinging one night stands are just a form of mutually consenting prostitution.  Each person is both whore and john.  Prostitution is not wrong, so neither is swinging.  It is not optimal, but it is better than nothing (no sex).  People need physical affection and emotional affection, be it real or faked, even if it is for one night, even if it is for money.  ---  5/15/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Swinging.  Pro.  There is something to be said for going out and partying.  Loud music, and young women in small bits of tight clothing.  Even if the women are daft.  Even if you don't meet your type.  Even if the chance of getting laid is nil.  Life can get so boring.  Being a hardworking drone is so deadly dull after a while.  Anonymous fu*ks, gropes, smiles, eye contact, there is an argument to be made for each of them.  It is not all bad.  One last chance for romance.  The last dance.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  The big questions.  (1) How much time do you spend thinking about sex, and acting on sex?  Too much, or too little?  (2) What turns you on?  What gets you off?  ---  10/05/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  The French view on relationships: mature, intelligent people can sometimes have complicated sexual relationships without getting hurt or being purposefully hurtful, immoral, or abusive.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  The key to life is feeling young, which means feeling horny.  Intimate friendship, love, sex, beautiful women, are all important to know about experientially only in that they let you know firsthand that they are not that important.  They let you know the boundary of reality and ideal dreams.  Everyone is alone together.  ---  01/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  The love game, two ways to play. (1) Idealists, romantics.  Honest, trusting, open, be yourself, act natural.  Let it go where it will.  (2) Schemers, machiavellians, pragmatists, realists.  For good or for evil.  Hidden agendas, backstabbers, bloodsuckers.  They say, "I want to go this way, so I will act this way."  (3) Whether you are 1 or 2 depends on the degree and amount of self conscious planning and action.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  The promise of healthy sex: happiness.  ---  09/20/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  There are a lot of things going on between men and women, like metaphysics (men's vs. women's brains and bodies), ethics, psychology, and sociology.  (1) Sex as physical pleasure, as power games, and as addiction.  (2) Emotions.  Friendship and love.  (3) Aesthetics.  Beauty and youth obsession.  (4) Kinks and fetishes, fantasies, obsessions.  Psychology.  ---  02/07/1997

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  There are people who think the human body, nudity and sex are profane, dirty, obscene and sinful.  And so they feel the body, nudity and sex should not be seen or talked about.  At the other extreme there are people who believe the human body, nudity and sex are sacred and holy and so they should not be seen nor talked about.  People's ideas of what is sacred and profane should not be used to limit discussion and conversation about a subject.  De facto censorship by threat and intimidation is wrong.  ---  12/28/2003

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  There is something to be said for carnal lust sex.  To engage in it proves that you are not afraid of it.  It is neutral, neither good nor evil.  Not to be adored or despised.  ---  01/30/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  These are a few of my favorite positions: she is sitting on my lap and we are seeing eye to eye on things.  ---  4/27/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Thinking about wanting to have sex vs. thinking about sex philosophically.  ---  10/15/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Three criteria of attraction.  (1) Pursuing girls based on how pretty they are.  (2) Pursuing girls based on where they are located, that is, proximity.  (3) Pursuing girls based on their principles, values, attitudes.  This is best.  ---  12/7/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Three definitions of nice.  (1) Socially and monetarily upper class vs. lower class.  (2) Puts out sexually vs. doesn't.  (3) Angelic vs. hurtful.  You can have any combo of the three.  ---  05/30/1993

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Three types of sexual relationships.  (1) Sleeping with a friend, someone you know and like.  (2) Sleeping with a stranger, someone you don't know.  (3) Sleeping with the enemy, someone you know you disagree with, or someone you dislike on some level.  ---  7/31/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Trying to impeach a president for having sex, or for having an affair ("cheating"), and even putting someone on the stand about consenting sex between adults is a farce staged by prigs.  ---  10/27/2003

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Two components of love/sex.  (1) Emotional comfort.  Emotional intimacy.  A friend.  A conversation.  Communication.  Caring.  Happiness, joy, laughter.  Understanding.  (2) Physical comfort.  Physical intimacy.  A touch.  A hug.  A kiss.  Intercourse.  Release.  ---  4/22/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Two problems.  One guy says, "I'm locked into a loveless marriage, and so I must pretend to love her."  The other guy says, "She has told me repeatedly that she is not interested in me, and so I must pretend to not love her."  ---  1/24/2007

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Types and levels of like/lust.  (1) Like: (A) I would give up anything to do anything you want for no reward.  (B) I would give up anything to do anything I thought was good for you for no reward.  (2) Lust: I would give up anything to fu*k you.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Views.  It is surprising (scary?) How many people disagree with the following: Interracial love is ok.  Premarital sex is ok.  Divorce is ok.  Single parent families are ok.  Homosexuality is ok.  Prostitution is ok, and should be legalized.  Pornography is ok.  Trangenders and transvestites are ok.  May-December romances (older and younger) is ok.  ---  3/30/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Voyeurs.  If they had a sex life they wouldn't be concerned about other person's sex lives.  ---  4/25/2003

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What do I want?  A flirtation, a smile, a look, kind words, a friend, a potential lover.  ---  8/2/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What good are baseball statistics?  They teach us a method to keep track of the love/sex game.  Singles, doubles, triples and home runs.  How many at bats.  How may hits vs. strikeouts.  Batting average.  ---  6/26/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What I am looking for in a woman:  Pretty and Witty.  Perky and Quirky.  ---  8/23/2005

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What I look for now in a woman.  (1) Sanity.  Not neurotic.  (2) Loves me.  (3) Ethical.  (4) Lets me do my thing.  (5) Not a prude.  Not a social clone.  (6) Easy going.  (7) Low maintenance.  Can take care of herself and provide for herself, and has her own life.  (8) I do not require from my women intelligence, humor, or their understanding my work.  ---  10/12/1998

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What if two people meet, have sex, get to know each other completely in two months flat, and then spend fifty static, unchanging, boring years together?  ---  8/10/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What if you spent all your resources on sex?  What if you spent all your time, energy, and money, pursuing sex?  What a waste.  What if you spent all day eating?  A complete waste.  What if you spent all day sleeping?  A complete waste.  Therefore, if you spend all day eating, sleeping, and having sex, then that too is a complete waste, as difficult as that is too imagine.  ---  5/27/2006

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What is sex?  Sex defined as like/lust.  Aspects: (1) Like: Emotion.  Emotional need vs. emotional desire or want.  (2) Lust: Drive.  Physical hunger for touch.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What is sex.  Sex, like poison ivy, is an itch you cannot scratch (except rarely), and it does not go away for 40 years or so.  (A thirst you cannot quench.  A hunger that never leaves.  A cliche' that will not die.)  ---  04/01/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What is sex.  The most dangerous sport in '90s is sex.  The potential for inflicting or receiving psychological or physical harm is enormous.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What is sex.  Virginity is a commodity.  Sex is a commodity.  Women don't want to be fu*ked and forgotten.  They want assurances for future.  They want security and constancy.  Thus divorce laws.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What is sexuality.  Everyone is bisexual to a degree.  A normal heterosexual relationship is really a four way orgy.  Her female side and his male side.  Her male side and his female side.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What percent of the women that you see do you like (10%)?  Of these, what percent like you (1%)?  Of these, what percent are single and available (50%)?  And how many girls do you see in a week (100)?  So it is no wonder it is tough to hook up.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What woman would go out with him?  What woman would go out with a man in his condition?  He figured his only hope was to go to cafes and bars, pick the sweetest woman he saw, and then stand next to her.  He would smile and converse politely, but his main goal was to get within three feet of an interesting woman.  Hear her soft voice.  See the sparkle in her eye.  Catch her scent.  "If I can do that", he thought, "I can make it through the rest of this life".  ---  3/16/2002

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What.  All social relationships have a sexual element to them.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What.  Being a sexual being is great if you are getting great sex.  It isn't if you are not.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What.  Can you be a complete person without knowledge of sex?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What.  Contra.  Too much sex will kill you.  It weakens the body to point of injury and illness.  It weakens the mind to point of wrong or too slow survival decisions.  ---  12/30/1995

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  What.  Definition.  (1) Like: an emotional attachment, many strong positive feelings.  (2) Lust: a natural biochemical (hormonal) drive.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Which is better:  (1) Desire or desire satiated?  Desire.  (2) Lust or sex?  Lust.  (3) Beauty or love?  Love.  ---  2/6/2000

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Which is worse or better, sex without love, or love without sex?  ---  03/23/1994

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why a girlfriend?  For intimacy, for mental health, for survival.  Living alone makes it much easier to wig out.  ---  9/30/1996

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why have sex?  Why study sex?  How have sex?  How study sex?  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why I am fascinated with exotic women.  If fascination with the opposite sex is fascination with the "other", then fascination with exotic women if fascination with the "other other".  Exotic women are doubly fascinating.  By exotic I mean women from other cultures.  ---  11/25/2004

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why study like/lust?  (1) To avoid mistakes and pain they cause.  (2) To make the most of your sex life.  (3) To make the most of your life.  (4) To know what's going on.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why study sex?  To get more and better sex.  To avoid mistakes and pain in sexual realm.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why.  Like/lust is important (1) For pleasure.  (2) For the experience of it.  (3) To get rest of life going.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why.  Like/lust, like money, is necessary for mental health.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Why.  Purpose of like/lust.  To help each other, and to not hurt each other.  ---  12/30/1992

Sociology, sexuality.  ---  Young beautiful women inspire me in a way I don't fully comprehend.  Youth and beauty.  When I touch their bodies, and look into their eyes.  I am an aura vampire.  ---  02/22/1997

Main page

Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.