Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”


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Sociology, solitude.  ---  .This section is about solitude  ---  1/24/2006


Sociology, solitude.  ---  (1) Every human spends most of their time alone.  Every human is a loner.  Learn to be alone well.  (2) Discussions of solitude depend on how one defines the words "alone" and "not alone".  (A) One way to define the word "alone" is based on interaction.  For example, alone is when you are not talking to another person.  (B) Another way to define the word "alone" is based on physical proximity.  For example, when you are not within view of another person, or when you are not within the sound of voice of another person, then you are alone.  (C) Another way to define the word "alone" is by emotion.  For example, a person could be at a party, talking with other people, and still feel very much alone.  ---  12/14/2005


Sociology, solitude.  ---  A defense of solitude.  Look at the joiners.  Look at the lemmings.  Look at the sheep.  Look at the herd.  Groupthink can be a bad thing.  ---  12/14/2005


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Being alone is discouraged by the media and by society in general.  The phrase "he was a loner and a drifter" is often used to describe criminals, trouble makers and generally any negative trait.  This is a wrong, unfair view because, firstly, not everyone in a group is behaving ethically, and secondly, not everyone acting alone is acting unethically.  ---  1/2/2004


Sociology, solitude.  ---  If I withdraw into the wilderness, what difference is that from withdrawing into a mansion with a gate?  ---  4/4/2001


Sociology, solitude.  ---  If you decide to live your life in peaceful isolation in nature, not bothering to think, two things will happen.  (1) You are not going to help anyone other than yourself.  (2) The opposition, who is often evil and well organized, will mess with others and will eventually get to you and mess with you.  ---  1/25/2004


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Loner Zen.  Other people remind me of my own presence.  When I am alone I disappear.  I did not seek solitude because I was uncomfortable with other people.  I sought solitude because I was uncomfortable with myself.  And in the wilderness I did not come to terms with nature only.  In the wilderness I came to terms with myself.  What is it about me that bothers me?  ---  7/11/2000


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Lurking in broad daylight.  Sometimes it does a loner good to walk amongst the people.  Watch couples playing with their children.  Listen to singles flirting.  Follow a group of tourists.  It does a loner good.  ---  9/12/2001


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Me.  I lack social-ness.  I might not have what it takes to be a good friend, or to be a group member.  I am rebellious.  I am moody.  I am sometimes a bit of an egomaniac.  I am sometimes a bit of a megalomaniac.  I seek solitude.  ---  5/25/2002


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude sum up.  (1) Definitions of solitude.  (A) Not even see people.  (B) Not talk to people.  (C) Not even use television, radio, Internet or books.  (D) No close friends.  No deep talks.  All shallow.  No lover.  No intimacy.  (E) Contact with only a small circle of homogenous people.  (2) Actual causes of solitude.  Biochemical causes.  Way you were raised.  Depression.  Paranoia.  Artist who dislikes society and people.  (3) Reasons loners give for being alone.  Loathes people.  Likes to be alone.  Too busy for friends.  Too lazy to socialize.  (4) Effects of solitude.  Good effects: Get work done.  Bad effects: Go crazy easier.  Lack of social skills development.  ---  11/25/2001


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude vs. sociability.  Attention loners!  Being a loner is dangerous.  It is easy to slip away mentally, because you have no human "mirrors" to bounce stuff off of, and because it is plain lonely, and because there are no social connections to break which makes it easier to kill yourself.  And when you are a loner you have no support network in case of physical or economic breakdowns.  ---  10/30/1997


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  (1) Individualism.  (A) Pros.  Think for self.  Develop a unique voice.  (B) Contra.  Isolation is unhealthy.  Lack of social skills development.  (2) Sociability.  (A) Pros.  Solidarity.  Cooperation.  Man is naturally social.  Multiplying work effort.  Exchange of new views.  (B) Contra.  Mindless conformity.  Blind obedience to group.  Herd mentality.  ---  8/20/1999


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Arguments against solitude.  Living alone is risky and stupid.  There is no backup, there is no fault tolerance.  ---  11/30/1997


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Being alone vs. with people.  Pros and cons of being alone vs. being with others.  (1) Too much with people.  (A) Contra.  Too socialized.  Socialized like shit.  No free thinking, speaking, or acting.  (B) Pro.  Support network.  (2) Too much without people.  (A) Contra.  Lack people skills for dealing with friends, neutrals, and enemies.  Lack social understanding.  (B) Pro.  Raises independence and freedom.  Raises self reliance.  ---  12/30/1992


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  How much time to spend alone vs. with others (lovers, friends, strangers).  ---  12/30/1992


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Introverts and extroverts.  Causes and effects.  Pros and cons.  (1) Hermits, monks, loners.  Causes: Fear of people (shyness).  Dislike of people (depression).  Uncomfortable with social interaction.  (2) Social butterfly, tons of friends, make friends easily, chatty and accepting.  Causes: Afraid to be alone.  ---  4/14/1998


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Loners fear that others will corrupt and defile them.  Loners loathe others for being less than perfect.  Fear and loathing is the recipe to make a loner.  ---  5/2/1999


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Loners.  (1) Arguments loners use.  (A) The other person is no good.  And I am no good.  (B) Self reliance and independence are virtues.  (2) All the loners I met did poorly, suffering alone, depressed, drugs, suicide.  ---  08/17/1997


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Reasons people seek solitude.  (1) Paranoia, fear, mistrust, suspicion.  (2) Fragility, weak ego, weak sense of self.  (3) Fear of hurting others.  (4) Fear of being hurt.  (5) Rigidity.  Reluctance to change.  Fear of new ideas.  (6) Perfectionism.  Purity.  Superiority.  Cleanliness neurosis.  ---  8/6/2001


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Self isolation by a person due to their thinking.  A person can develop pathological attitudes like (1) They think they know it all already.  (2) They think unknown things will hurt them.  ---  09/10/1994


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  Social withdrawal and isolation (from x group).  Often done to stay ahead of them.  Sometimes end up behind them in development.  ---  12/30/1992


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  The masses drag me down, depress me, devolve me.  ---  12/30/1992


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Solitude.  The price you pay for rejecting society's values: no friends, no woman, no money, no life.  But it can be worth it, given a crappy society, and having a great idea.  ---  12/30/1992


Sociology, solitude.  ---  The hostility of the group to toward the solitary individual is often caused by the group's fear of the unknown loner and often results in attempts at peer pressure to coerce conformity to group norms.  ---  1/7/2004


Sociology, solitude.  ---  The variables in the equation of solitude versus sociability.  (1)(A) Those who have trouble being alone.  Those who get lonely, and need someone to talk to.  Those who are stressed by solitude, and go crazy alone.  (B) Those who do well at being alone.  Those who enjoy being alone.  Those who don't mind being alone.  (2)(A) Those who have trouble interacting with others.  Those who are too passive with others.  Those who are too aggressive with others.  (B) Those who do well interacting with others.  ---  8/8/2006


Sociology, solitude.  ---  There is an argument that isolation is detrimental to an individual in the same way that the socio-economic-political policy of isolation is detrimental to a nation.  ---  6/12/2005


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Why am I a loner?  (1) Am I a loner because I dislike people?  (2) Am I a loner because people dislike me?  ---  7/12/2002


Sociology, solitude.  ---  Why I am a loner.  (1) Because no group will have me.  An outcast and a pariah.  (2) Because I will belong to no group.  A non-conformist, rebel, outsider.  ---  10/5/2000




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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.